The Ghost of Princeton ||Spencer Reid||

duffle bag

CRESSIDA

We had been working for hours, and all it had led to was me giving them all the information I had. Them knowing every little detail from my time with the Horsemen. How it had all affected me, how each of the men had affected me, acted around me and acted around each other from the interactions I witnessed.

Well, that and they had forced me to go to the doctor for a health check-up. Apparently getting the information was paramount and my health was secondary to that. After the doctor told me everything that I already knew about my health and took blood in order to run tests to see how truly malnourished I was, the next point of call was getting me basic necessities.

Prentiss and Reid took me to everything.

I felt like a helpless child as they walked me into the doctor's office and stayed in the waiting room during my appointment. And felt even more like one when they walked me through a Target. All I could do was argue that I didn't need much, that two sets of clothes would be more than enough, that one pair of shoes would be fine and that I didn't need anything else.

But Prentiss insisted on a duffle bag. And a toiletries bag. And toiletries. And a second pair of shoes. And a jacket. A phone. And everything else she deemed a necessity. Although I could say that I didn't want it, could lie and say I didn't need it...

It was nice to walk out with something that was mine.

That I had paid for, since one of the first things I did after running from the Horsemen base was go to a pawn shop to sell the slightly valuable things I had gotten my hands on. Such as the digital locks they thought would hold me, burner phones I found and anything else that seemed like it would be worth a dollar or two.

While I didn't have much to my name anymore, I did have a couple hundred dollars and a bag of necessary items.

"You okay?" Emily asked me as I stared at the bag of things that I now owned. We had all just clambered into the car, and I was holding onto my new bag like my life depended on it. But while it was now important to me, I couldn't help the weight that was sitting on my chest and the pain sitting in my stomach. We had spent hours on me today instead of working on the case.

"I just feel like this was a waste of time." I said, she shook her head.

"You made sure to tell us that they wouldn't rush their plan because you got out. You truly believe that, and we trust your judgement. Besides, we couldn't just take everything we could from you without helping you start to become your own person again." She said with a smile.

Feel like my own person again?

The words didn't confuse me. Nor did the idea. It was the fact that I wasn't entirely sure when I had actually lost that sense of self to begin with. Something like that felt like it should be remembered with clarity, a moment that should be pinpointed and obvious. But it wasn't.

"Besides, rest is important to mental function, and I doubt you've rested in a long while. This was the first step for you to begin to relax. Although, I doubt you will do that until we catch the Horsemen." She added. All I could do was nod, knowing that she was right once again. That was her job, to read people and know what they were thinking, what their next move would be.

"That brings me to the next important step. We want you to feel safe, so everyone is willing to let you stay with them. The choice is yours, just pick the person you feel most comfortable with." She said next, tilting her head to the side. "But we all know who that's going to be."

My eyes landed on Reid in the back seat of the car, who had been quiet since we left the doctor. Since I told him and Prentiss what the doctor had said to me. That it was going to take months for me to recover from this physically, and years to recover mentally. Both of which I already knew.

"Reid?" I had to speak to get him to come back down to earth. To get him to realise what the conversation was and that he needed to be a part of it.

"Hm?"

"I need somewhere to stay, can I stay with you? I'm most comfortable around you." I said, he nodded.

"I um, I can sleep on the couch and you can have the bed. I probably won't be sleeping anyway so..." He said.

"Thank you." I said, even though that conversation wasn't over yet. I didn't want to kick him out of his own bed. Not after everything he had already done for me.

"Okay, I'll drop you two off then. Sergio is probably wondering where his dinner is." She said before reversing out of the car park and driving us to Reid's apartment.

The car ride was silent, and that silence lingered until Spencer was unlocking the door to his home. The home I was going to intrude.

"If you don't want me to stay with you, I can go somewhere else."

The long silences, the way he had shut me down when I had tried to make light conversation while working on the case. He must be feeling so much in regards to all the changes happening at once, and here I was assuming that he would be fine to let me stay with him.

"What?" He asked, looking over his shoulder as his hand rested on the door handle.

"I can stay somewhere else if you want me to." I repeated.

"Why would I..." He trailed off as he looked over his shoulder. Honey brown eyes widened as they landed on me, like the realisation had finally come to him. "No. I want you to stay with me."

"Spence, you've barely talked to me-"

"What do you expect me to do?!" He cut me off. Shock tore through my body, but I couldn't let it show. When people saw your fear they exploited it, and even though I knew deep down that Reid wouldn't, it was hard to stop myself from shutting down.

I mean, I never expected him to shout at me either yet here we were.

"I'll call Prentiss." I pulled out the phone that I now owned, but before I could even unlock the screen two hands were enveloping the device and my fingers that were wrapped around it. As I stared at his hands they became blurry as my eyes stung.

"Don't..." He trailed off. "Don't call Emily. I'm sorry for yelling, I shouldn't have done that. None of this is going how I thought it would, that's all, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Can we go inside? I'll make coffee or something and we can talk, figure out how to navigate all of this."

He let go of my hand as I nodded, and then we both walked into his apartment.