The Ghost of Princeton ||Spencer Reid||

inadequate

CRESSIDA

Feeling 'inadequate' might not have been a strong enough word to describe what I felt walking all my stuff back to the BAU floor. Back to the desk I had been using in the bullpen which was waiting for me. And what I felt as I walked past Morgan's office. And especially what I felt as his eyes landed on mine, his presence here only because he was packing up the last of his things.

"Cressida!" He shouted my name with joy, so I walked into the office and put my box down on his desk before he enveloped me in a hug.

"Hey, Derek." I said in response before he let me go.

"So... you're the one taking my place on the team, I assume." He said, gesturing to my box. I looked up at him and nodded.

"Well, I don't think anyone can just fill someone else's position like that. There is a hunk of a Derek Morgan shaped void, and I will be making a very small Cressida Stiel shape to cover it so we can pretend the holes not there." I watched as his brow furrowed in mild concern. Maybe I should lighten the mood. "Besides, it's probably for the best we're not working together."

"Oh? Why would that be?" His furrowed brow eased as he smiled. I smirked in response.

"Really? You think that having our egos constantly in the same room would work out?" I asked, tilting my head to the side in a joking manner.

"Our egos, huh?" He laughed, so my smile grew.

"Mhm, the only difference between us is that mine is warranted. Yours..." I lifted a hand and shook it in a so-so motion.

"Oh, now that is something we're going to have to settle at a later date." He immediately stopped laughing, which prompted me to start.

"Give me a time and place and I'll be there." I said, realising that this would be the closest I would ever get to working with him. My smile dropped. Over the last few years we had become good friends, and some part of me had always been excited to join the BAU so I could work with him. I never imagined I would be the one replacing him. "I'm happy for you, Derek. There's no better reason to leave than to take care of your family. Especially a new baby boy."

"Hank Spencer Morgan." He said as he pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of his son. I had to set aside the fact that the baby had Spencer's name so I could focus on his chubby little cheeks.

"He's so small..." I said, smiling through the ache in my chest. I'd always wanted a family, but had come to terms with the fact it was probably never going to happen.

"You'll have your own at some point, if that's what you want." He said as I gave him back his phone. I started to shake my head.

"I don't-"

"You should talk to Reid." It is not the first time I've heard that over the last few months.

"Why is everyone so obsessed with me figuring things out with Reid?" I asked. Every member of the BAU brought the topic up at least once when I filled in for Morgan, Rossi was the worst culprit. I'd actually lost count of how many times he subtly or not-so-subtly brought it up.

"You've been working together for half a year and haven't worked anything out." He pointed out the obvious, which I was going to argue but he spoke again before I could. "I remember how you two were. What you were like around each other. Years of communication was just cut off like the flick of a switch. Are you going to tell me there's nothing there?"

"Rossi got you onto this, didn't he?" I asked, but he didn't even crack a smile. Rough. "It's been years, I mean in the time I've been gone he fell in love with and lost Maeve. Whatever thing we had, it's gone, and no one should be worrying about this."

"He's my little brother, I'm going to worry." God damn it. "You aren't just hurting yourselves by not working this out, you're hurting each other and you're both too oblivious to see it. My final request leaving this place is that you talk to him – properly, about everything." I let a moment of silence pass, letting out a sigh as I looked away from him.

"I'm scared, though."

"Of what?" I ran a hand over my hair and tried to think of the best way to say what I needed to.

"Reid doesn't easily forgive..." it wasn't a question. I knew he didn't, or he would have contacted me years ago.

"No, but he's not the worst I've come across." He said, and I guess he saw the tired look on my face since he put a hand on my shoulder. "Please, give it a try. Spare everyone else the misery of working between you two and just sort your shit out."

I guess he had a point. Although we had been civil, we worked in a team of profilers. They could no doubt tell it was, at best, strained between us. Morgan likely knew because everyone talked to him about it. I let out another sigh and shook my head.

"I'll talk to him." I agreed. His hand left my shoulder and instead he held a pinkie towards me.

"Pinkie promise?" A smile crept onto my face as I shook my head again.

"What are we? Five?" I asked, but his serious expression didn't change. Right, this seemed to be at least mostly serious. I sighed and locked my pinkie with his.

"And soon." He added while I was locked in. I let out a groan of annoyance but nodded my head. It was probably best he fixed that loophole before I exploited it.

"Fine." I said, letting our pinkies fall apart. The deal was made, and I wasted me opportunity to lock him into something too. Damn it.

"I'll be checking in next week." I rolled my eyes.

"Fuck." I whispered, which made him laugh. Asshole.

"Good luck, Stiel."

I hated how final it all felt, but I pushed that feeling down. Crying about it could come later. So I picked up my box and smiled at him.

"Good luck to you too, Morgan."