whitewiddow

yelena moving on

Yelena:I don't know...i never really had that choice before ig anything that you like I don't mind I eat everything...

Bucky:so u rlly just escaped and found ur way to Natasha

Yelena:it was easy considering her face is everywhere she's a hero...but yes I was freed...for a price

*Yelena become silent... She doesn't wanna remember herself killing an Innocent widow trying to help everyone escape the red room...she felt guilty and like a monster she's done a lot of damage like a lot*

Bucky:well.. I think that Mac n cheese is good

Yelena:I haven't had that... In like 20 years is it still the same

Bucky:I don't know the last time I was not frozen in ice was about 3 years ago

Yelena:ur a winter soldier..

Bucky:I am...so I know what it's like to loose everything and nothing know who u are

Yelena:I'm sorry....that is horrible what Hydra did it's unthinkable

Bucky:from what I know it wasn't any better for u either

Yelena:yea... It wasn't....but we all move on no one in the world cares for your pain until you become a threat

*Bucky starts the Mac n cheese and Yelena just stands there in a soilder  position... She had no clue why I guess force of habit she was just constantly used to being a murderer with a face with no purpose other than the will of dreykov and people who brainwashed her and hurt her*

Bucky:are you okay...

Yelena:yes I'm sorry...will you teach me

Bucky:what how to make Mac n cheese?

Yelena:nvm...

*Yelena knew she sounded stupid as hell for asking that and knew it was dumb I mean he only helped her out if pity and bc she needs the help she decided to go with him*

Bucky:no... Allow me to teach u

Yelena:why are you helping me...

*Yelena felt like she was bothering him and like she shouldnt have accepted after all he could be anyone... Working for anyone and she let her guard down for somethibg so damn stupid*

Bucky:because I've been you...

*Yelena looks at him and Bucky waits a minute before continuing*

Bucky:I was frozen in ice for like 70 years and then woke back up just to experience all that suffering and pain...i also killed around 10,000 people maybe more within that time too I get what it's like to not know who u are to fear yourself and everyone...natasha no matter your history shouldn't have done that your family and family is there...

Yelena:in the red room she also said widows are there for each other and she left us all in there...alone and forced to do unspeakable things...

*Yelena tears up until she just stops and she keeps herself from crying"

Bucky:u know that having emotions... Feeling what u feel and needing help isn't a weakness and it isn't bad.....

Yelena:how would you know...

Bucky:like I said I kinda understand where u are u know my story... Or some of it and I know yours your the famous white widow sister to the black widow the two most deadly assassins the red room produced next to a few others that are not known to have an identity outside of murder...

Yelena:yea...thats me I guess

*Yelena sits down and she just sighs and she shuts down like she doesn't wanna talk anymore... Yes it feels good to talk about it but it brings up too much and she feels like she's already burdening him*

Bucky:I'm sorry if I offended you...

Yelena:no it's okay Truly...

Bucky:still wanna learn how to make Mac n cheese....

Yelena:sure

*Bucky shows Yelena how to make Mac n cheese how to use an oven and boil the water...and the noodles then the milk and butter and the powdered cheese*

Yelena:it tastes like real cheese...

Bucky:welcome to America everything is fake but tastes rlly good go sit I'll make plates.

Yelena:Bucky... Thank you so much really I don't get why I'm so comfortable but maybe it's because it's nice to not feel so alone... To have company

Bucky:yea...it is nice ur Welcome to stay as long as you would like

Yelena:thank you...

Bucky:your more then welcome Imma go get some wine and glasses to have with the Mac n cheese maybe I, can show you what Hulu is

Yelena:I'd love that it sounds fun... Id hate to bother u more but do u have a bathroom

Bucky:ur not bothering me and yes I do...its on the right hand side down the hallway I'll be back

*he leaves and he goes into the wine cellar and Yelena goes down the hallway and she goes into the bathroom... Yelena had a secret she had a couple she didn't cope with the red room okay nor with natashas rejection she felt alone...she had an issue with self harm ever since she started in the red room befote the chemical mind control Yelena knee she was wrong to wanna hurt herself but it helped her survive without killing herself... She just wanted Natasha and it seems the whole time Natasha never wanted her and never cared for her now being st Bucky's house and talking about everything all she wants to do is hurt herself....To feel numb and less in pain and to feel more alive and okay Yelena ended up zoning out while staring at a razor blade she found... She knew she needed to hurt herself but to do it in someone else's house was wrong no Metter how she could justify it*

Bucky:u okay...

*Bucky knocked lightly before asking and Yelena dropped the razor blade and Bucky heard it... He knew what it was but didn't react*

Yelena:I'm okay, I'm sorry I'll be out in a second...

Bucky:okay I got wine and whiskey so I'mma set the table

Yelena:okay thank you...

*Yelena felt everything become worse within a few seconds and she grabs the razor blade and she tears up and locks the door and she pulls down her pants*

...

*when Yelena left the bathroom Bucky was sitting at the table choosing tv to watch*

Bucky:ready for dinner?

Yelena:yes... I can't wait... You've been too nice to me

Bucky:no I haven't...im just being a human being