THANK YOU // DEX ✔️

31.

Siyoung was on her way to StarShip to talk to the CEO about everything that had happened in the last few days. She was afraid. She was full of nervousness and had no one to hold her hand and say nice words to calm her down. Jiwon had work, and Jinyoung had a full schedule as well. Today, she was on her own. She only had her thoughts, which were filled with ideas about what could happen.

Despite wearing a cap on her head, sunglasses on her eyes, and a mask over her mouth, she felt like everyone was staring at her. She had a lot of fans, but still not enough for everyone to really pay attention to her. Her anxiety was only making it worse. Maybe nobody was actually looking at her; she was just imagining it. Or maybe they were looking at her because they found her funny with all those pieces on her face. She'd never find out.

Whenever she heard a camera click, she twitched. She thought everyone was photographing her, even though it wasn't true. She had debuted in 2016, but it was only the photo from Jeju that was the first to give rise to a substantial rumor. Only that photo had been taken by paparazzi and truly revealed a piece of her life. Until now, she had only seen photos from some crazy fans who took pictures of her during various events or shootings – yes, that was scary too because it was sometimes taken from a ventilation duct or a bush, which meant they were stalking her. But those were just photos from shootings that everyone would eventually see. The photo from Jeju, on the beach with Jinyoung, was her private one that she wanted to keep and maybe talk about it in a few years.

She started to have difficulty breathing. This was the last time she felt like this when she saw Seojun after their breakup. She hadn't had these attacks in a long time, which made her even more uneasy. She even felt tears on her cheeks and didn't know if it was from fear or because it hurt.

She had to sit down on a nearby bench. She pulled her belly close to her legs and buried her head in her hands. She tried to calm her breathing. She tried to think only of positive things. She tried to remember the voices of Jiwon, Serim, or Jinyoung, anything that could calm her down. But her breath didn't calm down, and the more she thought about Jinyoung, the harder it was for her to breathe. She probably got this attack because she was afraid she would lose Jinyoung because of the hate from fans, so it probably didn't help.

"You wish you had your knight in shining armor here, don't you?" a voice whispered in Siyoung's ear. She jerked and when she realized who the voice belonged to, she straightened up and looked him in the eyes. She wiped her tears and tried to look as if she wasn't just having an attack.

"You don't have to look like a strong woman who has everything under control in front of me," Seojun sneered. "I've seen you in much worse condition."

"Are you talking about me lying bleeding on the bathroom floor after you kicked me several times?" Siyoung's voice trembled, but that didn't stop her from returning his words. She didn't want to talk to him, but she definitely wouldn't let him mock her.

"Oh, come on, you're exaggerating. I've never beaten you to the point where you were covered in blood," Seojun rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. Every move he made irritated Siyoung.

"Tell that to Siyoung in all those pictures I took at the time," Siyoung rolled her eyes. "And what are you doing here anyway? Didn't I tell you to stay away from me or I will report you to the police? Are you stalking me?"

"I was just passing through here to the gym," Seojun tapped on the black bag he had slung over his shoulder. "I saw you clutching your heart and it looked like you were about to faint. I just wanted to help. I'd help anyone, but it was you. That's just a little bonus."

"Yeah, and you want me to believe it," Siyoung's voice was still trembling. She was still afraid to say these things to him because she feared getting slapped or, in the worst case, punched or kicked. But at the same time, she wanted to look strong, and she had overcome all that fear.

"Believe whatever you want," Seojun chuckled. "And what about that idiot? I saw some picture, don't tell me he really got you. He doesn't seem like your type," Seojun moved closer to Siyoung, so close that their chests almost touched. Siyoung felt like she had forgotten how to breathe. "Your type is more, how should I put it, wicked? He looks too much like a plush toy, and that's not your type."

"You don't know what my type is," Siyoung mustered all her strength and pushed Seojun away. "I have to go." She said it quickly because she wanted to leave as quickly as possible.

One thing Siyoung has to admit, though, is that thanks to Seojun, she forgot about all the worries she had before and went to StarShip with peace of mind. She didn't remember all the rumors circulating on the internet about whether she was in a relationship or not, and that she probably lost countless fans.