Perfect Doesn't Last Forever

Chapter Eight

Perfect Doesn’t Last Forever- Chapter 8

            It was like I was being weighed down by hundreds of elephants.  I felt constricted with Noah’s arms wrapped around me beneath the blankets and comforters that lay on top of us.  My heart began to beat rapidly and my breathing quickened, I was panicked in the unfamiliar room and I didn’t know what to do; I’d never been in this situation.  It felt like a result from all the anxiety I was feeling, but also being trapped in my position was terrifying.  I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down, but I just kept thinking about last night and everything else that was going on in my life. 

            I tossed and turned the whole night, trying to figure out what my problem was.  I kept playing my conversation with Ella in my head, analyzing what I told her, and I always returned to the same conclusion: I was crazy.  I couldn’t understand a single thing I told Ella yesterday and, for the life of me, I could not figure out how Ella was following the twisted maze that was my thoughts.  But with a night of fading in and out of sleep, my brain to finally figured out what I wanted. 

            I felt Noah’s arms stir around me, breaking me from my thoughts, and I cuddled closer to him in response.  He took a deep, cleansing breath and pressed a light kiss on my forehead as I saw his eyelids flutter open to reveal his bright and shining eyes.  He held his gaze with mine, contemplating his next move.  Did he remember what happened last night?  Was he trying to figure out the best way to break up with me?  I couldn’t blame him for wanting to break things off, but why would he do it on the second day of the trip?  He wasn’t going to make Ella and I leave and find our own way back home early, was he?

            “Good morning sunshine,” he murmured, pulling one of the blankets over our heads to shield us from the frosty air around us.  “How did you sleep?”

            “Fine,” I lied, plastering a small smile on my face.  “How did you sleep?”

            “Like a baby,” he smiled, running his hand down my back.  He was definitely avoiding the inevitable conversation we were going to have about last night, but I was okay with it.  I wasn’t ready to talk about it either.  “You ready to go back to Hudson’s?”

            I nodded and braced myself for the cold winter air.  “Like a Band-Aid, rip it off,” I told him, pushing the blanket off our faces. 

            “Okay, don’t forget we have to get our coats from last night before we leave.  I don’t want you to catch frostbite on our first full day here.”  I gave him another quick nod and a second later he shoved the countless layers that held us captive.  I was instantly hit with the chill and a strong gust of wind.  “It probably would have been a good idea to close that before we fell asleep,” Noah laughed, pointing at a window that was completely wide open. 

            “Probably,” I agreed, taking his waiting hand and jogging out of the room, down the hall and stairs to the front foyer.  The house was completely quiet, nobody was awake and nobody stirred when we passed by them.  There were a lot of people passed out all over the house, some with beer bottles and cups surrounding them for a rude awakening and one person lying at the top of a mountain of furniture.  While I was really looking forward to watching some of them wake up, I knew it would be hours before anyone did and I just wanted to return to the warmth of Hudson’s house. 

            When Noah retrieved our coats, he helped me into mine before leading me out the door and to the street towards Hudson’s.  We walked in silence, my arms wrapped his thin waist and his arm over my shoulders, and admired the clean white snow and large pine trees that were undisturbed by humans and animals.  It was all so calming, I was calm.  Hayley wasn’t here, screaming or crying or begging for my attention.  Damien wasn’t here bugging me to get back together or trying to ‘smoothly’ flirt with me.  It was just me and Noah, the way I wanted things to be.  It took all night for me to realize that it was moments like this that I craved for.  It was moments with Noah that made me feel complete.  All my hesitation and confusion was because all my emotions were jumbled up.