Perfect Doesn't Last Forever

Chapter Eighteen

Perfect Doesn’t Last Forever- Chapter 18

At sixteen years old, you think you know what you want.  You think you know how your life is going to turn out.  You think you can plan everything and all your wishes will come true.  I was that sixteen-year-old.  I thought my high school boyfriend and I would stay together forever, with or with out a baby, but having a baby only seemed to cement the idea of forever in my mind; however, that’s just not how life works. 

            I have no real regrets in life.  I did the right thing when I decided to keep Hayley when she was born.  She deserves to be surrounded by family who were actually related to her.  And I did the right thing when I decided to leave her; if I’d stayed I definitely would have more regrets in life.  I have survived perfectly, achieving everything I have ever wanted, and Hayley has grown up to be the woman I always wanted her to be, without any of my involvement. 

            Hayley is a grown up, only a few months from turning eighteen, and at this point in her life, there isn’t anything I could do to mess her up, except for being where she wants me to be.  Hayley wants me in her life now, her own decision –a decision I respect and have sacrificed a lot to fulfill.  I have everything I could ever want in life and now I’ve decided that I must do my best to make sure Hayley has what she wants.  That includes re-inserting myself into Damien’s life; or more specifically, inserting my family into the lives of Damien and his family. 

            “Mommy, who are these people?” Jacob asks, tugging on my hand as I make my way up Damien’s front walk way with my family beside me. 

            Preston and I sat all the boys down two days ago and tried to explain the situation, but there is only so much a seven year old can comprehend.  No normal seven year old has to deal with the awkward situation of meeting his mother’s high school boyfriend and his family. 

            “We’re going to have dinner with Hayley’s family,” I explain gently, clutching onto my purse tightly with my other hand.  Forget this being awkward for my seven year olds; I could still barely grasp the concept of having dinner with Damien and Maya.  The last time I saw Damien, when I dropped Hayley off from our first dinner, I want to deny it, but there was still a small, inkling of a feeling towards Damien.  I love my husband, more than anyone in the world.  Compared to the amount of time and effort put into my relationship with Damien, Preston and I had battled our way through more than I care to admit.  And not just me, I know Preston will have trouble seeing Damien.  He knows what it is to like to break up with your first love, and more so for me since Damien and I never had any real closure; not even when I signed my right to Hayley away.  Those two days did not consist of any soul-searching or explanation on my part.  He came in, we had sex, and then the next morning after breakfast, I signed the papers and he left. 

            “I thought we were her family,” Jacob wonders as we make it to the front door. 

            I kneel down to eye level with my son and I run my hands through his short light brown hair.  “Baby, Hayley has her own mom and dad too, just like Luke and Ly have their own mom too.  She’s had her own family for seventeen years, and now she has another family, us.”

            Jacob purses his lips and I press a gently kiss on his forehead.  Ryan walks up beside me and leans his head down on my shoulder.  I wrap my arms around the both of them, feeling them hug me back, as Preston, Luke and Lyle stand beside us. 

            “Remember, you guys promised to be on your best behavior,” Preston says sternly.  “Don’t ask any of the questions we’ve went over or anything that may be close to the questions we went over already.”