Linnea: A tale of the Snow Queen

Chapter 20, Falling Apart

It had been two years since Isla was born. My relationship with Ingrid and Agnes was bad and getting worse. It was our third wedding anniversary. My daughter was two and she was growing more beautiful by the day. Isla was going to grow into a beautiful princess. I was nearly twenty but I still looked sixteen. I felt like I had changed in a different way though. Towards my younger siblings, Filip, and Isla I was kind and caring but towards Lucas, Ingrid, Agnes, and my father we were all cruel to each other. I still swear that it was the mirror.

I was sitting in the garden one day. I was frosting the white roses. Astrid was there too. She had grown into quite a beautiful young lady. Aksel still buried his nose in books, he was there too. Markus also joined us. Then I heard little footsteps, “Mommy!” Isla exclaimed
“Hello my little rosebud.” I replied
“Your majesty, I’m so sorry she begged to see you and…”
“No Emilie, it's fine. I love seeing my rosebud.” I replied
“What has Emilie been teaching you Isla?” Astrid asked
“She showed me a painting of a horse. Mommy do we have horses? I want to ride one just like daddy did in the painting.”
“We do darling but you might want to wait a few years. Most of ours are bigger than you.”
“Okay mommy.”
“It’s almost lunch time. Emilie, you can leave Isla with us. I would like to spend time with my daughter and you can join us if you’d like.”
“Yes your majesty.”
“Please call me Linnea.”
“Yes queen Linnea.” she replied. I don’t think she realized that she didn’t need to address me so properly but I let her call me queen Linnea. Emilie had been a recent hire. She was always constantly terrified I was going to fire her. I needed someone to help me look after Isla while Filip was doing his kingly duties. Even though he was very busy he always made time for Isla and I. Ingrid eventually gave up on love. Every time she saw me with my small family things got worse.

The day my father died. I was sitting by his bedside. He had been sick for some time now. I had just turned twenty. He died two months after my birthday. Agnes was on the other side. The cold November air did not help his condition. He died on the tenth. Ingrid could’ve saved him but she refused to go near him. I could do nothing about his sickness. I blamed Ingrid for his death. He could’ve lived longer if she had just warmed him up with her magic. It doesn’t matter now. My father was gone. Isla would never be able to remember her grandfather. Both my biological parents were dead. Agnes was all I had left. After my father died our relationship only got worse.

After my father died I started to get unstable. Not even Filip could help me. My first Christmas without my father I kept to myself. Everyone else celebrated the joy of the holiday by opening their gifts. All I wanted was my father back. It was his holiday. It was our special day with him. He was always there and now he wasn’t. It was all Ingrid’s fault. I was in Agnes’s room, the room that my father died in. Even though he died there she still continued to sleep in there soundly. I didn’t know it yet but she would also die here. She walked into the room and didn’t even know that I was in there, “Linnea, what are you doing in here? Have you been here this whole time?”
“Father should’ve been here.”
“I know. But sometimes things don’t work out. He would want you to move on and be happy.”
“Ingrid could’ve saved him. She could’ve warmed him up so he could recover.”
“Linnea…”
“You sleep soundly in this room every night even though he died in here. Doesn’t that make you uncomfortable?”
“Linnea…”
“It’s all her fault. It’s all Ingrid’s fault.”
“Linnea! Morning your father is a natural thing! Don’t blame your sister for your powers making the world colder!”
“I don’t have control over the seasons; it's naturally cold outside! Don’t blame me for my father’s death!”
“I should’ve known. From the second we met you have been nothing but unbearable.”
“Unbearable. You and Ingrid made my life miserable. I didn’t even know he wanted to marry you until a few days before. I planned the wedding and tried to be nice but you two were nothing but cruel to me.”
“I watched over you. I made sure that you became what you are. Ingrid failed me. The man that was our last hope for her is dead because of you.”
“It wasn’t my fault that he’s still out there…”
“What? He’s dead. Linnea, what did you do?”
“He tried to kill me. He was crazy. I killed him first. Turned him into ice. He’s still in the garden. I don’t regret doing it either.”
“You did it. You lied to all of us…”
“Lucas knows. He saw me do it. He saw Agnar trying to kill me.”
“I think you did it just to ruin your sister’s life.”
“Get out.”
“This is my room. I'm not going anywhere…”
“I’m warning you. Get out.”
“No Linnea.”
“You need to leave.”
“I’m staying.”
“I warned you.” I replied. She made me do it. I was mad. She tried to escape. She ran to the door but the outburst of magic happened before she could. I didn’t even try to control it. I froze everything in place. Agnes was now like Agnar. She was made of ice. I killed her too. It was there in that frozen room that I realized, Isla could no longer stay here. I was too dangerous for my daughter. If I could do this then think of what Ingrid could do. I left the room as it was and locked the door shut. I told everyone that she was ill and asked to be left alone. I would bring her what she needed.

That night I told Filip everything. He wasn’t cross with me. I felt like he could never get angry with me. It was an accident. Agnes pushed me too far. I will admit however that everyone told me this winter was colder than the past few. It might’ve been because of our grief but it might’ve been my magic. Either way we sent Isla and Emilie to live with Filip’s aunt. She was going to come back on her 16th birthday but instead she would never return. I felt like I was falling apart. Everything was falling apart.