Something Wrong With Me?

Chapter 2

Throughout the school day, Mo Xuanyu didn't really manage to pay attention in class. There was this uncomfortable tingling in the pit of his stomach and he felt the need to cry all day.

The letter said that Mo Ziyuan would meet him behind the school building after school.

Wei Wuxian actually always picked him up from school on foot since it was right on his way back home from work, so Mo Xuanyu snuck into a classroom and climbed through a window there to get behind the school unnoticed.

Even from a distance, he could see his cousin's siluette. He had grown even taller and awakened in Mo Xuanyu a feeling of fear that he had not felt for a long time. It was a different fear than the one he felt when he thought about what his foster father would think if he found out that Mo Xuanyu was gay.

It was a fear that made everything in his head disappear to make way for a panic that made Mo Xuanyu barely able to move properly. It made the spots Mo Ziyuan used to hit and kick on his body hurt again.

"There you are at last, you good-for-nothing!" his cousin roared, kicking him in the pit of the stomach.

Mo Xuanyu, who had been feeling sick ever since he read the letter, stumbled backwards and threw up on the asphalt.

"You really have become even more disgusting than you were before. "Mo Ziyuan spat on the ground in front of him and then stretched out his hand. At first Mo Xuanyu was confused, after all Mo Ziyuan would never help him back to his feet, but then he realized that his cousin wanted him to give him the money.

So Mo Xuanyu pulled out the lunch money that Wei Wuxian put in his school backpack every morning. It was always in these little white paper bags on which Wei Wuxian seemed to draw little illustrations himself. This time it were a few little rabbits.

Mo Ziyuan greedily took the money out of the bag and then crumpled it up and threw it on the ground. He gave Mo Xuanyu another disgusted look and then walked away.

Mo Xuanyu waited until he could no longer see him and finally breathed a sigh of relief - only to burst into tears.
He had hoped that he had finally gotten away from his cousin and aunt and all the other people out of his family who had turned a blind eye to all the abuse. But it seemed like Mo Xuanyu would never escape. He would always be found and hurt by his past. But maybe it was right the way it was. Maybe he didn't deserve to be happy.

Carefully, he took the small paper bag into his palm and pressed it to his chest right above his heart.
Wei Wuxian had drawn it especially for him, and yet he had no idea what a bad child Mo Xuanyu was.

He cried on and on and soon his entire face was covered in snot and tears.

Only after about half an hour did Mo Xuanyu remember that Wei Wuxian was still waiting for him in front of the school.

He tried to wipe his face clean as best he could, but he hardly thought he could hide his red swollen eyes and runny nose from his foster father.

Wei Wuxian was indeed still waiting for him. He was talking to a teacher, Mr. Lan, whom Mo Xuanyu did not have in class but who had shown him around on his first day.

When Wei Wuxian saw him, he smiled and shouted joyfully, "Xuanyu!" But then his face lost all color. He said goodbye to Mr. Lan and ran over to Mo Xuanyu," A-Yu, are you all right? Have you been crying?"

Mo Xuanyu felt an unknown feeling in his chest. It was relieving and that was despite the fact that nothing in his life felt easy right now.
The fact that the first thing Wei Wuxian asked was not where he had been, but whether he was all right almost made Mo Xuanyu cry again.

But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't tell Wei Wuxian what was wrong.
"It- I'm fine. "he mumbled, avoiding his foster father's gaze, but out of the corner of his eye he saw the worried expression that took over Wei Wuxian's face.

"A-Yu, you can tell me when- "

"I said I'm fine!" Mo Xuanyu said louder and more forcefully than he had actually intended.

Immediately, he wanted to take it back. He wrapped his arms around his skinny body and said softly, "I'm sorry! I- I- I really didn't mean to- "

"It's okay." Wei Wuxian said softly and incredibly gently put an arm around Mo Xuanyu's shoulders.

The boy winced at the touch, as he was only used to touches that were meant to hurt. That were meant to bring him pain.

Immediately, Wei Wuxian lifted his arm from his shoulders again, but some coldness spread in Mo Xuanyu's heart. After all, he wanted him to gently show him parental affection.