Something Wrong With Me?

Chapter 6

"As much as I want you to take a hot bath and warm up, I don't think we should drag this conversation out any longer. "Wei Wuxian said as they stood in their kitchen again.

Mo Xuanyu nervously fiddled with the hem of Wei Wuxian's jacket, which still hung around his shoulders.
"I don't want you to be mad." he muttered nervously, looking at the floor.

Wei Wuxian didn't know exactly how to react now. Firstly because Mo Xuanyu reminded him of himself, so he knew that his every thought was negative and only made his situation worse. On the other hand, because he felt the need to hug Mo Xuanyu. He wanted to hold him close and tell him that everything was fine. But Wei Wuxian feared that this would only confuse Mo Xuanyu even more.

So instead, he said in a soft voice, "I'm not angry. I just want to understand what's going on and what's going on inside you. You don't have to- you don't have to tell me everything. I promise. I don't want to force you to talk, but I want to know why you ran away."

He hoped he wasn't constricting Mo Xuanyu too much. He wanted to give the boy as much space as possible, but it would be indulgent of him as a father- as a foster father- to make sure everything was good as far as it went. And if Mo Xuanyu ran away from school more often, then maybe his social worker would decide that Wei Wuxian was not a good foster father and take Mo Xuanyu away from him. And then he wouldn't be able to help the boy anymore.

Wei Wuxian had been really lucky today that Lan Wangji had called him immediately and promised to keep quiet about the incident.

"It's- complicated. I don't quite know how to- "Mo Xuanyu sighed heavily, and Wei Wuxian saw tears gathering in his eyes once again. His hands, still holding the hem of his jacket, began to tremble.

Wei Wuxian sat down on a chair so he wouldn't tower over Mo Xuanyu too much. Maybe it would help that he got enough courage to tell Wei Wuxian, whatever it was.

"I- so- my- my cousin he- " but that's as far as he got before tears started running down his cheeks again and his breathing started to quicken. Mo Xuanyu's chest moved up and down haltingly and his hand grasped a handful of the jacket.

"A-Yu- Xuanyu-"Wei Wuxian reached out and stroked his upper arm gently, "Everything is fine. I'm not mad. You can tell me."

"But you WILL be mad at me! You'll find me disgusting, probably even repulsive!"Mo Xuanyu said in a hoarse and somewhat shrill voice.

"Hey, A-Yu, "Wei Wuxian's voice was little more than a soft whisper, "look at me, sweetheart."

Mo Xuanyu slowly raised his head and looked at Wei Wuxian through his eyes glistening with tears. His gaze was anxious and uncertain, and it broke his heart to see him like this.

Wei Wuxian put his hand on Mo Xuanyu's cheek with which he had just stroked his arm, and wiped away tears from under his eyes with several gentle movements of his thumb.

"I understand that you are nervous, and also that we are not that close yet. But I want you to know that you can trust that I would never hurt you, A-Yu. "Mo Xuanyu was completely motionless after those words, and for a moment Wei Wuxian thought that might have been too much at once, but then Mo Xuanyu leaned his cheek into Wei Wuxian's hand and closed his eyes briefly as more tears threatened to run down his cheeks.

"The letter- the letter that was addressed to me was from my cousin. "Mo Xuanyu admitted and opened his eyes again. However, he avoided Wei Wuxian's gaze. "I- I can show it to you, wait a minute."

And then Mo Xuanyu disappeared towards his room.

After a few seconds, he came back, a folded piece of paper in his hands.

He held it out to Wei Wuxian, but withdrew it right after. "I- I want you to know that I'm sorry. "Mo Xuanyu muttered softly, staring at the letter in his hand, "There- it says something about me that- it- it's disgusting. Because- because there is something that is really wrong with me."

Tears were running down his cheeks again, and Wei Wuxian would have liked to take him into his arms, but instead he reached out for the letter.

Mo Xuanyu's hand trembled as Wei Wuxian released the letter from his somewhat convulsive grip.

Wei Wuxian unfolded the letter and stood up while reading.

As he read, he had to keep himself from looking angry because he wanted to prevent Mo Xuanyu from thinking he was mad at him, because Wei Wuxian was not.

If anything, he was mad at this cousin of Mo Xuanyu, but he was also mad at himself. Why hadn't he inquired earlier what was going on?

When he got to the part where he demanded that Mo Xuanyu give him his lunch money, Wei Wuxian felt sick.

If Mo Xuanyu ate so little breakfast and wasn't full at all in the evening, since he couldn't get any food at school, how hungry must he be? When Mo Xuanyu would take his bath to warm up, Wei Wuxian would make him something extremely delicious to eat.

His eyes continued to wander, and at the next few words, a sinking feeling spread through his stomach.
So this is what Mo Xuanyu had meant when he had said that something was wrong with him.
Almost at the bottom it said, 'Or else I'll tell your new guardian that you're a cut sleeve!'

Wei Wuxian would have loved to scream. He was NOT mad at Mo Xuanyu, but at his cousin. How dare he tell his boy that it was a bad thing to like boys?

But he held back as his gaze fell on Mo Xuanyu, who was trembling all over and letting his gaze wander anxiously and frantically around the room, only not looking at Wei Wuxian.

"Xuanyu? "His voice trembled and-oh! Wei Wuxian felt a tear on his own cheek.
Mo Xuanyu's gaze fell anxiously on his foster father.

"Xuanyu, it's all right. "he said gently, but Mo Xuanyu shook his head vigorously.

"No, "he cried through tears, "it- it's not alright! It's never alright! I- why-"

Wei Wuxian stepped closer to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, believe me."

"But- no- this- " Mo Xuanyu seemed to have trouble breathing, but before Wei Wuxian could say anything in response, he continued to sob, "If- if it's really- really okay- "

Mo Xuanyu's legs were shaking so much that Wei Wuxian was afraid he might collapse.

"If- if it's okay, then- why? Then why did M- mum hate it so much that she- she disappeared? And- and why- why was it- why was it that my aunt and cousin still- that they- "but the rest was lost in a loud sob, however Wei Wuxian thought he knew what he had wanted to say.

"What- what is- then what is the reason they hate me? I'm really a totally bad kid! I- I- "

"Xuanyu. "Wei Wuxian said softly, but immediately Mo Xuanyu got quiet, "Can I give you a hug?"

He looked at him in surprise for a brief moment, then nodded slightly.

Wei Wuxian stepped forward and gently wrapped his arms around Mo Xuanyu. One hand found its way onto the back of his head and the other around his shoulders. He gently yet firmly hugged him. Mo Xuanyu buried his face into his shoulder and cried.

For a while, he just held him close. Wei Wuxian didn't care that Mo Xuanyu was still wet from all the rain, at that moment all that mattered was that he knew everything would be okay.

"I'm sorry. "Mo Xuanyu mumbled after a while as he was only sniffling softly anymore.

"Don't be, A- Yu. Really don't. "Wei Wuxian whispered and rocked him gently in his arms.

Mo Xuanyu looked up at him. His eyes were red but there was a tiny little smile on his lips. "Thank you. "he murmured softly.

Wei Wuxian carefully stepped back from the embrace and went down on his knees in front of Mo Xuanyu. He gently took his hands in his. "A-Yu, I want you to know that you can be who you are with me. There will always be people who won't accept you like you are, but I will always support you no matter what."

At that, Mo Xuanyu's smile widened a bit. So that's what it feels like to have a family.

----

I hope you liked this!!!! Let me know what you think😅🥰🥰