To The Moon, For You. [BL | TIWSON/POR]

19. In our loneliness.

Por and Tiwson spent the day together. They napped for a little while. Cuddled. Had dinner. And in that proximity, Por felt closer to Tiwson than he ever had. It felt like a veil had lifted. That evening, they showered together and the nakedness only brought them closer together. At that moment, Por felt like he could be completely himself with Tiwson. As night falls, the both of them lay side by side, their face only inches from one another. Tiwson cups Por's face gently.

"How is anyone as adorable as you."

Por felt his face blushed a deep red. He tried looking away, but Tiwson noticed the warmth beneath his hands.

"You are even cuter when you are shy."

Por wriggled his face away from Tiwson and copying him, cupped Tiwson's face within his hands.

"Your face fits my hands perfectly."

This time it was Tiwson's turn to blush a scarlet red. Por giggled and twirled his curly hair with his fingers. Tiwson laid his cheek into the one hand that still cupped his cheek. He asked.

"Have you ever loved anyone before?"

Por stopped in his tracks his finger still tangled between Tiwson's hair. He looked at Tiwson lovingly and smiled.

"How does love feel to you?

"It feels like... something special. It feels like I can trust this person.?"

At that moment, Por saw that the watch had started flashing. He quickly hid it behind his back worried that it would catch the attention of Tiwson. He looked at him and he felt a sting in his heart. Por realised then and there that he was betraying Tiwson and if he ever found out about the mission everything between them would be over. Por stroked Tiwson's hair ever so gently and looked into his big brown eyes. The pain intensified and he started to tear. Tiwson realising the tears in Por's eyes, sat up startled.

"Why are you crying? Did I say anything wrong?"

Por shook his head, tongue-tied. Tiwson held his hand and gently pulled him in giving him a hug.

"You can tell me anything. I want to listen to your pains and joys."

"What if one day you realise that someone close to you has betrayed you?"

"Well, it depends on who."

"What if it's someone you think you can trust?"

"I might get angry at myself for trusting the person, but it's not the first time this has happened. I am used to betrayal."

Tiwson hugged him and started to sob. Por tried to push him away but Tiwson hugged him even tighter. Por realised that his attempts were futile and hugged him back. Tiwson whispered into his ear.

"I am here for you; I want to know why you are sad. I want to know everything about you."

Por released his grip and tried to stop himself from crying.

"You are so caring, sweet and just so amazing and sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you."

"You being you is enough deserves everything of me."

"What do you mean?"

TIwson gently wiped Por's tears away.

"Before you came, I felt an indescribable sense of loneliness. You know when... my mum passed and she was the only family I had left, I felt so alone. In the days leading up to her passing, I held her hand and prayed every day that God whoever that is, would give my mother more time with me. But God took her away nonetheless."

"What about your dad or your friends?"

"Dad left us when we were very young. I never saw him again after. As for friends I have friends and I really like them. But I think I just keep trying to find someone that can understand me the way I need to be understood.... And you seem to understand. The loneliness that I feel. The pain. So you being you is more than enough for me."

Por listened to Tiwson attentively, the story he told distracted Por from his guilt. He held Tiwson's hand.

"I know no one can take the loneliness I feel away from me. But I know sometimes I need someone to sit with me through the loneliness."

"That's what you do for me. You accompany me through my loneliness."

Por combed Tiwson's hair and gives him a kiss on the forehead.

"You are very special to me and I hope you know that."

At that moment, Por's phone begins to ring disrupting the moment. Por and Tiwson looked over at the phone and realised it was Jorn calling.

"Hia Jorn." Tiwson exclaimed.

They both laughed.