Back To You (gxg)

Part 7

I thought that I wasn't going to experience any more confusion regarding my sexuality.

I thought I got it out of my system.

When I was in my early teens, I knew I had some kind of attraction toward girls. I tried to tell myself at first that I was just "fascinated" by the girls I had crushes on- but later on I had to admit- I was attracted to girls in the same way that I had crushes on some guys.

In some ways that was more confusing to me than just knowing if I was straight or a lesbian.

When I was in high school, even when I was with my ex-boyfriend, Tyler, I had "girl crushes". Girls in my classes that I knew I was attracted to, and would have liked to have expressed that, but I couldn't. I knew it was wrong, as well. But I couldn't help it.

Riley became one of the girls I was crushing on in 9th grade, when I had my first class with her.

After Tyler and I broke up at the beginning of college, I went a bit crazy with hooking up with girls at school. I finally felt "free" to be able to do so. However, I told myself that eventually I would wind up with a man. I knew I was bisexual, but I was getting my sexual experiences with girls out of my system.

Me wanting to wind up with a man is for a mix of different reasons. I just know it'll make my life easier in the long run.

But now I can't get Riley out of my head.

And my second week at work, whenever I was around her, my heart would beat just a little bit faster.

And I kept thinking about the comment her sister made- that Riley is nervous when she rambles.

Each day that I was there at work at the same time as Riley, she left at lunch. Knowing why she was leaving always made me upset for her.

At lunch on Wednesday I was eating with Demarcus, Danielle, Tim, and Marie.

"We should do something this weekend." Danielle said, "Not a work happy hour. Something either later at night or on Saturday night. Who is in? I'll invite everyone."

"I'm in." Marie said, raising up her hand.

"I'm in as well." Demarcus said, "I don't have my daughter this weekend. She's with her mom."

"I'll go." I said, "What were you thinking?"

"There's a new bowling alley that opened up with a bar and arcade. It looks pretty cool." Danielle said, "And supposedly they play really good music there as well, the vibes are there."

"I suck at bowling, but it sounds fun." Tim said, "I'm in."

"Cool." Danielle smiled, "I'll arrange it. I'll text all of you. Jenny, I don't think I have your number. Will you put it in my phone?"

Danielle handed me her phone and I added my number.

"Are you going to invite Lauren as well?" Marie asked.

"I will." Danielle said, "I can't just leave one person out."

I hope Riley can make it.

Once again during the week I looked forward to Riley training me, and the days that Keely trained me went by slower.

Riley asked me how training with Keely was that Friday, and I said to her, "It's good. I am learning a lot from her, she definitely knows her job well. But...I wish you were here 5 days a week. I'll leave it at that."

Riley's face broke out into a grin, "While I'm glad to not be here 5 days a week, are you telling me that you like me better as a trainer?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled, "Read between the lines."