Back To You (gxg)

Part 24

As I sat there in Riley's car, with my head in my hands, all of the feelings I had- and still have- about the situation with my boss, Julian, came flooding back to me.

I was not the victim in the situation, and I knew that. I did something terrible- and it is something I have not- and likely will not forgive myself for. Anytime I think about it, the guilt and shame immediately washes over me.

I never thought that I would be her. The woman that is the "other woman". But I got so caught up in what I was doing, and I couldn't stop myself.

Though every single day since, I wished that I had stopped myself.

Even while it was all going on, I felt immense guilt. I could hardly eat, hardly sleep. And I definitely was having trouble paying attention at work.

So why didn't you stop?

I ask myself that every single day.

The driver's side door opened to the car, and I looked up to see Riley getting in.

She was holding a very fancy to- go bag that almost looked like a shopping bag from a high-end store.

Riley shut the door to the car, and said to me, "Do you want to talk about it now, or wait until we get to my place?"

"Can we wait until we get back to your apartment?" I asked, my voice still shaky, "I just want to leave."

"Of course." Riley nodded, and she started the car.

On the ride back to her apartment, Riley played upbeat music, and she kept giving my thigh and knee little squeezes.

"I'm sorry." I said as we got closer to her apartment, "You planned this night for us, and I just completely fucked it up."

"Jenny, listen to me. You didn't fuck anything up." Riley said, "We can go out to dinner whenever we want. I care more about how you're feeling."

I really don't deserve this girl. At all.

When Riley and I got back to her apartment, I got out of the car and she walked around to my side to be next to me. She faced me and held onto my hand.

Looking at me, she said, "It's going to be okay. I promise."

I gave her a small smile and nodded, and she squeezed my hand and said, "Let's go inside."

"Is anyone else here?" I asked her.

"No. Brooklyn is at work and is then staying at her best friend's house. And my mom is at the hospital. So it's just us."

Right when we walked into Riley's apartment, she immediately led me to her bedroom. When she closed the door behind us, she said, "Let's sit down on my bed and we can talk. If you want to."

I sat down on Riley's bed, and she sat down facing me. Once again, she took my hand- and looked at me.

"So...was that your old boss?" she asked me.

I nodded and said, "Yes. His name is Julian."

"I figured." Riley said, "I didn't think there would be anyone else that would make you that upset to see. And the woman...was that his wife?"

"No." I said, "It wasn't his wife."

"I guess he gets around." Riley said.

"He always has, yes. And I was stupid enough to fall for it." I said, "I know how bad it was, what I did. It was the worst thing I've ever done in my life."

"How did it happen exactly?" Riley asked me.

"Julian immediately seemed to take an interest in me- and he was the kind of boss that was friends with the people that worked for him. He would come to happy hours and other events out of work. In the back of my mind I knew it was a bit unprofessional. But I was just glad to have the job, and a boss that was friendly to me." I started, "I thought he was good looking. And I definitely developed a bit of a crush on him- and it started when I had to stay late at work one day, and we were the only two in the office. He came over to my desk and started talking to me, and we started talking about our personal lives. I felt comfortable talking to him. We then got on the topic of our love lives- and I told him I was not dating anyone. That's when he told me that he and his wife were on the brink of divorce. Which I learned later on, was not true."