HH HB [male reader] (On Hold)

Exes and oohs

The scene opens with an exterior shot of I.M.P Headquarters. Cut to the inside of the office with Moxxie holding his signature mug and Loona texting on her phone. Moxxie looks around. Y/n arrives to the building and he looks really fucked up

Loona looks at him with concern

Loona: the fuck happened to you

Y/n: nothing...I'm fine

Moxxie: *softly claps twice* You know, I checked the scale today. *inhales And it said I lost two pounds this week.

Loona looks at Moxxie, then rolls her eyes back to her phone, while y/n didn't really give a fuck, much to his annoyance.

Moxxie: I. Am not. FAT!

Cut to the front door kicked open by a furious Millie as she stomps around the office, mumbling angrily.

Millie: *mumbling angrily* Ooh! Such a fucking asshole! That little motherfucker. I just wanna take my finger up and shove it up his fuckin' little thing!

Y/n:...uh is she good?

Upon coming up to the table, Millie slams her coffee cup on the it disturbing Loona. Millie then passes Loona and hits a button titled "Nut button!!" that summons a cardboard cutout of a human saying, "Hi! I'm a Hooman!" then throws a knife and lunges at said cutout. Moxxie looks at her, disturbed.

Moxxie: Millie, honey. Is everything okay?

Millie hisses back at Moxxie in response, disturbing him even more, but she manages to calm down.

Millie: Yeah. Just...bumped into an ex. *tail twitches*

Y/n:...oh I though me and blitzo were the only ones with an ex...

Moxxie: Oh! Oh...

Millie: *retracts knife* He just kept going on about how he has money now, "a bright future," and "a bigger cock."

Moxxie: Wait, what?

Millie: *raises voice* Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it! I just need to-

Millie punches the filing cabinet beside her in frustration. Blitzo enters the room on his phone shortly after.

Blitzo: What the fuck is all this noise? I got a client!

Moxxie: Sorry, sir. I'll get this all cleaned-

Y/n picks up a few pictures and...it's disturbing as fuck

He holds up a photo of two imps making out in horse suits.

Blitzo: Uh, research! For science! Just put it back correctly, okay? Alphabetize them.

He walks back into his office.

Blitzo: Okay, so let me get this straight: you don't want us going to Earth at all for this job?

Cut to the inside of a mansion, with a businessman holding a lit cigar, and his chair facing a green fireplace.

Client: Correct. That will not be necessary. I'd like to meet you and your whole crew at my estate.

Blitzo: Uh, you want us killing someone in Hell. 'Cause I got to tell ya, that ain't exactly our business anymore.

Client: I'll tell ya all about it when you get here. *smokes cigar* It's regarding a business venture I'm sure will be very worth (through the phone) your time.

Blitzo: Ooh, how ominous. *chuckles* Fine, whatever, what's the address?

Client: Transportation has already (through the phone) been taken care of.