"So, how was the staff party?" Cody asked. It was one of the first things he had said as Oliver answered his phone call on their regular Saturday talks, not a video chat again, just voice.
Oliver did not respond immediately.
"Oliver?" said Cody.
"Yeah, it was alright." Oliver shrugged.
"Parties not your thing, huh?"
"Depends on who is there."
"You had fun, though, right?"
There was a pause.
"Yeah," replied Oliver dismissively.
Cody continued to try and ask Oliver questions about the staff party, quite persistently, actually. Had Cody seen through his lies? Or was it because this was the first time something of substance had actually happened in Oliver's week, something to actually talk about? Regardless, Oliver gave short answers and responses and succeeded in changing the subject, but his mind was still occupied with his failure at the party if you could call it a party.
Every time he thought about it or Cody asked him about it, Oliver would clench his jaw, grinding his teeth to the point where they stung; he wondered if it was possible to triturate them into power with how sore they were.
When the call ended, Oliver stared at the list of conversation topics he had made prior, and then at the Snickelway list, eyes set on the numerous social-focused ones he had set himself. He then added to the list: 'be better at parties'. He was supposed to take things off the list, not keep adding to it. He was supposed to be improving, not taking another step back.
Did you even try at the staff party?
No.
No, you fucking didn't.
Oliver wouldn't say he froze up, like the nerves got the better of him. Yes, there were moments where he was overthinking, but the majority of the time his mind felt empty and void, and he just stood there absently drinking cheap cider. It was like an indifference; though Oliver wanted to try, a part of him just thought, what is the point? You don't want to be their friends anyway, they don't want to be yours. You don't enjoy any of this, so why bother trying? You know you don't like it, so why force yourself?
Oliver considered scratching it off the list. He considered tearing the list up entirely.
But instead, he just sat there, staring vacantly at the list, jaw still firmly clenched and teeth stinging. It was time for a smoke.
YOU ARE READING
...And I Am Going Home
HorrorThe second half of the 'I Have Been Chosen and I Am Going Home' duology. After escaping the clutches of a giant human-eating monster, nicknamed Snickelway, Oliver and Cody have to put a halt to their first date as they both try to mentally recover f...
