You Can't Spell Funnel Without Fun

Chapter 6: Toilet Hole Combat

The spider expanded as it squeezed out of the toilet hole. This one was definitely bigger than the other had been. About the size of an Italian mastiff. The spider's multi-faceted eyes circled and glowed with an eery greenish light.

You have been restrained by Baby Giant Spider's Paralysis Stare.

The words flashed quickly at the bottom of the screen in the space that the default chat window would be.

I felt all parts of my body just become solidly rigid and I lost feeling to those limbs. I couldn't feel my fingers. I couldn't feel my toes. Vertigo hit as I realised my head felt like it was just floating in the air without any substance beneath.

The spider slowly crawled closer. All the furry limbs moved forward one leg at a time. Panic rose within me. I saw that my circular minimap flashed with a red ring around it, showing the spider as a red dot. Above the spider's head was the name Guilty Baby Giant Spider. The difference between its name and the alert of the petrification gave me a momentary pause from the panic.

Guilty? Why would a creature be guilty? Did that make it intelligent in some way? While I wondered that, the spider turned around sticking its butt end out and began spinning the spider silk around my frozen form. A fast-spinning splurt of sticky silk thread inexplicably wound around my body without the spider having to move from where it stood.

A new line added itself to the little chat window.

You have been paralyzed by Baby Giant Spider silk. 2 minutes until full petrification.

The spinning web of silk grew around my body. I could see it in the peripheral of my vision, getting wider and whiter around my form. I could not actually feel it from the restraint. It was like I was already completely paralyzed.

In my minimap, a blue dot hurtled down the hallway.

"Porra! Oh no you fucking don't!" Suze lunged past, in her hands were two of the metal bars that had been in our rooms. The hangers on them clattered as they twirled around from the whirling movements of their bearer.

The spider lifted its legs and the eyes began to shift a little, the greenish glow about to get brighter.

I shouted, "Don't look at its eyes." and was delighted to know that I could actually talk and make sounds, even though the fact I couldn't move my lips made it almost unintelligible. More like, "Doooo ooo aaaa iii eeeyeee"

"What?" Suze asked.

"No! Eyes! Bad!" I tried and this time it sounded almost like the words. "Oooo eeye aaa."

But the distraction was enough that Suze looked back in consternation just as the greenish glow of the spider's eyes hit its apex.

You have already been hit by Baby Giant Spider's Paralysis Stare. Its duration has increased by 5 minutes. Less than 2 minutes until full petrification.

Suze smashed one of the bars down, the hangers slid along its length and flew off as she swung. She then smashed the other. One hanger just pinged off an eyeball and went flying. Back and forth she connected smashing the spider's head into smithereens. From absolutely nowhere or maybe from Suze herself, the sound of a vaguely 1960s movie musical score faded in. It was then that she began singing very loudly, "Spin your wheels. Then you're gonna know how it feeeeels to spin out!"

Suze lifted both arms above her head, they vibrated and shook the bars. Then both arms wooshed down as she drummed onto the skull of the spider until it splattered out covering everything in the room. The music faded out as if someone turned a volume knob way down into nothing.