You Can't Spell Funnel Without Fun

Chapter 3. Let There Be Light

The silence after the sourceless voice was almost oppressive, but the after effects of the Calming Breath skill were pretty damn great. I felt like I had taken lorazepam. The panic was entirely gone and instead I felt that calm that allowed me to think straight.

To get through this, I had to make some decisions.

I could assume some crazy person had drugged and kidnapped me. Maybe this was some kind of rich guy's weird game. Like some Eyes Wide Shut stuff. Not that I had actually watched that movie since it was made way before I was born, but I knew the reference from memes. If this was that, then the goal was to escape and call the authorities. I'd listened to enough murder podcasts to stay sexy and not get murdered.

But, what about the Calming Breath skill. I was still standing in one place, I heard the voice tell me about the skill, and then I felt the after effects. Really good after effects.

Ignoring the fact I was probably dead already — or maybe accepting the fact that I was dead and this was some kind of afterlife. The words the old-timey radio guy — Monty? — had used had some meaning to me. He mentioned a dungeon. I knew all about dungeons from Realms of Ifaneli. I also knew all about dungeons from murder podcasts. I really hoped this was supposed to be more of the former rather than the latter.

I could also assume this was a hallucination. Or I was in a coma. Or I was dreaming and it was really realistic. Only I suddenly really had to pee and if it was a dream, I hoped it wasn't the one where I could never find a toilet.

Plus, the Star Trek voice had spoken twice. Once, a spell and another, a skill. It reminded me of the pop-ups when you randomly unlocked skills in Realms. Mind you, the pop-ups were the world exploring and profession skills and not the truly useful skills of your class. Those you unlocked with levelling and talent purchase through feat points.

But that was just how Realms did it. Every game was different. Typically it took me a month to learn a game's mechanics and to understand how it worked. Also to play not like a complete newb or blow useful skill points or whatever on pointless things. So you didn't have to respec later. Or start over with a new class.

I didn't have a month. I had a week-ish. I also had no idea if I could reroll if I chose wrong.

"I need a light." I said out loud in exasperation then tsked.

The globe of light popped into existence with the ffpppfddhist sound of before.

Level up! Cantrip Minor Globe of Light. Somatic and verbal components required. Duration of 20 seconds at this level of the spell.

I counted in my head and the light popped out of existence after 20 seconds.

So if I cast it again, it should last 40 seconds right?

"I need light." I said out loud.

Darkness.

"Hello? Light?"

Nothing. Just the darkness.

Annoyed, I tsked and the globe of light appeared. But this time, there was no alert that the spell had leveled up. The globe lasted 20 seconds again. Ahh. The tsking did it. That would be the verbal component.

"Okay Kaylee." I talked to myself. "We're going full in on this. No chaser. If this is a dungeon and that was a spell you leveled after 2 uses, but not 3. Then how many tsks," the globe of light burst into existence again, "does it take to level up again? Well, not 4, obviously. And what do you do to move the ball of light?" I waved my hand around and got my answer. The globe floated lazily in whatever direction I moved my hand as if I dragged a helium balloon attached by a string.