You Can't Spell Funnel Without Fun

Prologue: At the Base of a Mountain

At the base of what seemed to be a mountain lay a small, but heavily fortified mansion and a wide flat field of dark granite surrounded on all sides by high stone walls without any crevice as though they had been formed from solid stone. The only way to approach the building was along a wide and straight cobbled road that led to a single, metal gate.

This place thrummed with deep, primordial magic.

Beyond the manse lay fields upon fields of carnivorous giant aconite. The guards at the top of the gate tossed over a haunch of meat and the nearest plants snapped at it, smashing leaves, vines, and teeth-like spikes against one another, their blue and white flowery heads attempting to devour.

"I will have the guards disciplined, sire." His weedy voice unimpressed, Chancellor Fajor, Summoner Class, Tier 6 - High Summoner of the Kingdom, narrowed his eyes at the guards.

Prince Almir, Conjurer Class, Tier 6 - High Lord of Funnel Science and Heir Apparent to the Throne of the Kingdom of Infundi chuckled. "No need Fajor. Let them blow off steam. This galdr has taken much longer to inscribe than all previous years. Everyone is over anxious for it to begin."

High on the stone wall, the two men could see everything below them. Almir watched indulgently as the runic inscriptions of multicoloured sand were poured out into elaborate weaving strokes and whorls by Fajor's handpicked Summoners.

"This will be momentous for all of us." Though Fajor's tone was placating, there lay a hint of pride underneath it. Almir knew that if this succeeded, it would be also the greatest triumph of Fajor's life; for Almir had promised to marry Fajor's youngest daughter and make her the future Queen of Infundi. Fajor would no longer just be a Chancellor, but also the Queen's father. That would make him one of the most powerful persons at Court.

"Too long, Chancellor, the Funnel has been a danger that went unchecked. Tell me again about this Realms of Infaneli and Earth. In fact, we have a few minutes. Show me the Programmers."

"Let me take you to see their Raid Dungeon first and the Computers. They are curious machines borne of a world without magic." Fajor's face twitched just enough that Almir knew he had something to hide and was trying to distract.

Years at Court and intrigue with his siblings taught Almir when to strike at a weakness or at a crack in someone's demeanour. "What happened to the Programmers?"

Fajor hesitated, but said, "There was an escape attempt. Some made it to a Teleportation Circle and disappeared while two sacrificed themselves by running into the aconite. We have their bodies in the morgue. They are —" Fajor took a moment and then said, "— Unrecognisable and bloated. Death by monkshood is extremely disconcerting."

"Nevermind that. Did they ruin the Expansion?"

Fajor shook his head. "No, sire. They did not. The Betrayer assures us that the Expansion will drop, we will get the Funnelers from the best stock of this Realms of Ifaneli. He was there when it happened, sire. We also tested his words against a Telepath and she echoed the truth of his words. Besides the Teleportation circle had not been used in awhile. It may have sent them to their doom."

"Good. Good. Give the Betrayer what he wants then. He has proven useful."

Chancellor Fajor nodded and then he looked at the field below to see his Summoners were just finishing one last inscription. Some more sand poured into fine scrollwork, then all Summoners stepped away from them as a deep thrum of magic made the ground tremble.

Both men looked up at the mountain. Bright multicoloured lights blossomed from the Summoning Inscription and veins of power lit, rushing up the mountain and along its edges to climb somewhere near the apex. That primordial magic exalted, poised to awaken the great Funnel itself.