Drunk Hearts

Unfortunate Circumstances

Kenny explained everything that was going on with Stan and Kyle to Butters, while Karen was in Stan's room, playing on his consoles. He didn't want to ruin her stay by making her listen to emotionally draining drama, so he told her he was tired and wanted to rest before dinner. Stan did give her permission to play his games after all, as long as she didn't overwrite anything.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Kenny confided to Butters, who was snuggling up to him on the couch. "I'm this close to calling Cartman."

Butters nudged a bit closer. "Ken, you know you don't have to get in the middle of it, right? Let them figure it out for themselves."

"That's a little hard when you're living under the same roof as them," Kenny chuckled, lighting up the mood a bit.

"I guess you're right, but what's Cartman going to do?"

"He'll never admit it, but he's been waiting for those two to get together since fourth grade. He's pretty good at getting what he wants."

Butters sat up, thinking really hard. "Isn't Eric in South Park with his mom right now?"

Kenny's eyes lit up, and he peppered Butters' face with quick kisses. "You're a genius, buttercup!"

"I didn't really say anyth-"

"We need to call Cartman!"

___

"What's got your panties in a twist, turd?" Shelly asked, walking in Stan's room to find him slumped on the bed, twirling his phone.

He picked his head up, looking like he was analyzing her. "Are you going to be nice or make fun of me?"

"That bad?" She didn't quite give an answer, but it was the best he was gonna get.

"I guess." Stan rolled over, giving Shelly enough space to sit down on the bed. She did, looking a bit worried. Once he saw her face, he continued, "I'm still sober, and eating, and stuff."

Her body seemed to ease up a bit, "so what happened?"

"Long story short, Kyle and I got into a fight."

She furrowed her brows, "so? You guys fight all the time."

Stan's anxiety about the situation grew, and he could feel knots forming in his stomach. Did he really want to air out everything to Shelly? Kenny already has that burden, and he doesn't want to inconvenience anyone else.

Though, with the way Shelly was looking at him all concerned, he couldn't stop himself from spilling. "It's not like that, not this time. I, uh, Kyle and I are dating. Or at least we were. I don't know where we stand now."

She didn't look as shocked as he thought she would. "What did you do?"

His face twisted into something between glaring and grinning. "Okay, first of all, that's all you're gonna react to? Second, why do you assume I did something?"

She just shrugged. "Stan, I don't give a fuck whose pants you want to get into, and it's not like it's any surprise. You were way too into John Elway to be straight. And you always do something."

He looked at her with a blank face. "He told me I was just like dad and to go drink myself to the brink of death."

Shelly was stunned, and said one word: "context."

"Look Shell I really don't want to get into it right now-"

"If you want my help, I need to know the whole story, because I can't even fathom what could trigger Kyle of all people to say something like that."

"Okay, okay," Stan sighed, mentally preparing himself to relive that night. "Kyle had been studying a lot for finals, and I felt ignored. So Kenny and I smoked some weed, and I went into his room to hang out for a bit, but I guess he was really stressed or something because he went right into yelling at me for bothering him. I probably pushed more than I should have. We were biting back and forth and I got mad and told him he only cared about me when I was suicidal and then he said that and we haven't really spoken since."

Shelly sat with his words, absorbing all of the information he spewed. "You both said some pretty fucked up shit."

"I know," he covered his eyes, pressing them hard with his palms, "I feel bad but on the other hand he said the one thing he knew would hurt me the most."

"Why do you let dad get to you so much?"

He let out a small chuckle, "you're not my therapist, you know."

"Look," she put one hand on his ankle, "I know I give you shit most of the time but I do care about you, believe it or not."

Stan removed his hands, looking back at his sister. "He ruined any chance to be a normal family. He chose alcohol and drugs over his wife and kids. I don't want to turn into that, but I know I am."

"You're not. Dad wouldn't even admit the things you're admitting to yourself."

"I had one therapy session. One. She brought up my actions versus dad's and it almost killed me, literally. You wanna know what I did after that?" He was beginning to get teary-eyed, but he was trying his best to keep them in, "I took a bunch of pills and washed it down with a bottle of alcohol. I'd be dead if Kyle hadn't found me, and that's what hurts the worst. I was selfish, and I chose to do that instead of thinking about how it would affect the people I care about."

Shelly's eyes held so much empathy, which was a rare occurrence. "Stan..."

Before either one of them could say anything else, Stan's phone starting ringing. He looked at the screen, and saw that Cartman was calling.

"Uh, that's weird," Stan said in confusion, "Cartman is calling me. He doesn't usually. I should probably take this."

She nodded, and took this as her queue to leave. She rubbed his calf and got up, exiting his room so he could have his privacy. It was weird for him to be calling Stan so out of the blue like this, so it was probably important.

He answered it, putting the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Stanley, we need to discuss something."

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