Drunk Hearts

A Step in the Right Direction

Stan took one last look around his room to see if he was forgetting anything. The past couple days were spent with Kyle, researching treatment centers. They had finally found one that seemed to be good, and now Stan was packing everything he'd need for the next couple weeks. They had landed on a treatment center in Denver, which was about a 40 minute drive from their place in Boulder. He was terrified. He was going to be alone, in a hospital. He didn't really know what to expect. Kyle had been reassuring him that everything would work out, and he would be there the second he would get out.

Once he was ready, he walked out of his room with his bag but stopped in his tracks when he overheard Kyle and Kenny arguing.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" That voice was Kenny.

"He needs this, why are you so against it?" and that one was Kyle.

"What he needs is to be surrounded by people who love and support him," Kenny growled, "and how do you expect him to pay for this? He can't afford hospital bills!"

Kyle gritted his teeth, "we will figure it out. Jesus Kenny, he's going to die if we don't intervene."

"He hates hospitals! Why do you think I told you guys to take him all the other times before?"

"Stan agreed to this! I wouldn't force him against his will. You're being selfish!"

Stan had enough. His two best friends were fighting, and it was all because of him. If he had just been better, none of this would have happened. He let out the breath he had been holding and noisily stepped down the stairs. The two shut up.

"I'm ready," Stan said as he reached the bottom. The others nodded as if they hadn't just been yelling at each other a minute prior.

Kenny put his hand on Stan's shoulder and gave a slight squeeze as they went off to Kyle's car. All three were eerily quiet, no one even played music. Stan watched out the window as the scenery passed by, dreading what was to come. It was a bit of a longer ride than they were used to, and Kenny ended up falling asleep, splayed across the entire row of backseats. Kyle kept his eyes on the road, only glancing at Stan once or twice. Stan looked sad, but he didn't want to say anything in case it made it worse.

"I'm sorry Kyle," Stan finally spoke, about three-quarters of the way there.

"What?" he asked back, keeping his voice low because of Kenny. Who, by the way, was snoring.

Stan sighed, still keeping his gaze out the window, "for making you do this."

"I wasn't going to make you bus yourself to the hospital," Kyle choked out a forced laugh.

"That's not what I'm talking about," Stan said lowly, "I'm sorry for making you take care of me. For tying you up with someone so troubled. You don't have to stay with me, you know. I'll live."

Kyle snapped his eyes towards Stan for just a moment before returning them to the road. He took one hand off the wheel and placed it on Stan's leg, trying to speak as calmly as he can, "You didn't make me do anything, Stan. I don't care if you're 'troubled', I want to be with you. Can't you understand that I like you for who you are, and everything you will be? You're not some pity case I picked up because I felt bad."

"I-I didn't mean it like that," Stan quickly backtracked, turning his head to face Kyle, "I just mean if it's too much for you, I'll understand." Stan slipped his hand under the one Kyle placed on his thigh, and held it. He swallowed the burning feeling in his throat and kept talking, "I want to be with you more than anything. It hurts to think about, you know, not being with you. I just want to make sure your mental health is a priority too."

Kyle gave a shy smile and tightened his grip around Stan's hand, "I appreciate that, Stan. I promise I will talk to you if anything like that happens. But trust me when I say this: I'm not letting you go."

Stan returned his smile and once again turned to look out of the window. Eventually, they pulled into the lot and shook Kenny awake. The three took their sweet time walking into the building and getting to the area they needed to be in. Stan had to fill out some paperwork, and text his family to update them on what was happening and not to worry. He had already let his boss know, and got extensions in all of his classes. Once everything was settled, he was shown to his room and given hospital clothes. Most of his stuff was taken, just because of his history and being considered a "risk", but he was at least able to keep his phone. Then it was time to say goodbye.

"Kenny, what the fuck," Stan laughed as he noticed Kenny's eyes begin to water.

"What? I got something in my eye, that's all," the hooded blonde pretended. He threw his arms around Stan, making it hard for him to breathe.

Stan returned the gesture, "I won't be gone forever Ken."

"Fuck man, I don't like getting emotional."

Stan let out a chuckle at this statement, "dude, you get angry all the time. That counts as emotional."

Kenny pulled away, but still held on to his shoulders, "hey, I never said I liked getting mad."

Kyle stepped in, body language letting Kenny know it was his turn. He stepped back and allowed the other to get closer. They stood in front of each other with no words for a few seconds, before Kyle slammed his body into Stan with even more force than Kenny did.

"I'm gonna miss you, dude," Kyle muffled into Stan's shirt.

Stan rubbed circles around his back, "I'm gonna miss you too, lover boy."

"Don't ever call me that again."

The two broke out into laughter and kept all four hands interlocked. It was a bittersweet moment. Stan was finally taking the steps he needed to recover, and things were going to get better. Stan gave Kyle a deep and gentle kiss, holding on until Kenny coughed reminding them of his presence.

"Okay, okay. We have to get going," Kyle sighed, "text me every day and call me when you can. It'll be over before you know it. I love you."

There it was again, the three words that made Stan's stomach churn in the best way possible.

"I love you too. I'll see you soon. Everything is going to be okay."

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