The Wylie Diaries : Where The Flowers Bloom

Chapter Thirteen : Watch Over Me

The death of a loved one, such a curious thing. We know that our time in this world is limited, it is not infinite. We all eventually end up underneath some sheet in a freezer somewhere. Yet everybody is always so surprised when it happens to someone they know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, thinking there is one more step than there actually is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought about things. Is this not the same for death? Are we not walking up those stairs in the dark? There is no true answer to what happens after death, I just know that death is not the end but only the beginning. For each time a person takes their final breath, a person takes their first. While a family loses a loved one, a family gains one. The infinite cycle of life and death, an inescapable grasp that affects the lives of countless billions across the world. I often wondered what awaited me after my life had ended, what new journey i would begin. Am I scared? perhaps.

When someone you love dies, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in pieces over a long period of time. Their scent fades from their belongings and even from their clothes you kept away from the sunlight to preserve them. They say that time heals all wounds, but time is only a band-aid and when the band-aid is removed, the scar still remains. It's true, I am afraid of dying. I am afraid of the world moving forward without me, of my absence going unnoticed. Am i selfish? Am i such a bad person for dreaming of a world that ends when I do? Every pair of eyes in the universe closing at the same time that mine do, never having to be apart from the ones I love.

I had been drifting for what seemed like centuries, nothing but darkness to keep me company through time, having no sense of direction or purpose. Senses void of all life, unable to keep my soul lit through the darkness.

The senses came back to me one at a time. I felt the soft, cushioned feeling of grass between my toes. I smelt the bloomed flower's scent as the wind carried it across and into my nostrils as I breathed in deeply. Moving my hands in front of me, the feeling of air and wind brushing against my hand as I fight to win control over it. My eyes, feeling less heavy than that time on the road before I took my final breath in the arms of the person I have loved for eternity. Vision came back to me slowly, the tall tree appearing blurry at first but now defined in every way as my eyes focus like a camera lens.

Under the single tree which stood in the middle of the meadow, seemingly protecting the meadow from harm, stood a man. His characteristics undefinable from this distance, only able to tell his gender from the way his shoulders lay across the top of his back. Walking closer, his characteristics appear more noticeable and his identity no longer remain a mystery.

"Tyler?" I ask, running through the meadow like a deer being chased by a lion in the wilderness, putting my arms around him tightly and holding him close. "What are you doing here? Where am I?".

"Wylie? I don't know where we are. The last thing I remember I was sitting in the hospital. I've been here for a week already".

A week? How had i been in hospital for that long? I thought I had died on the road that day and had been wondering through the darkness ever since.

"You are in a coma Wylie... You haven't responded to treatment. I sat at the end of your bed, praying for a miracle and that I would see you again".

It was hard to believe what he was saying. I was here in the meadow. I could feel him, touch him... How was this possible?

"Tyler I don't understand any of this right now!" I say, confused at what he is trying to tell me.

"Wylie... Your family and I decided to turn off your life support tomorrow. The doctor says you won't ever wake up".

The world around me seems to crumble away. The realisation that none of this is real and that my mind could be imagining it... giving me one last piece of happiness before my life ends forever.

"I know how hard that decision must be for you Tyler" I say, placing my hand on his cheek as i gaze lovingly into his eyes for what could be the last time. "I don't resent you for that".

"You don't resent me for killing you?"

"I know that you have done what is right. Even if it means us spending a little bit of time apart". I wipe the tear away that begins to run underneath Tyler's eye.

"It's just so difficult... knowing that I am never going to speak to you again. Never going to see your smiling face and feel you're positive energy, Wylie."

"I don't want you to remember me laying on that road Tyler. That wasn't how I visioned our lives to end. I wanted us to grow old together, surrounded by our children and grandchildren. I wanted to die in your arms as an old man, knowing that I would never have to wait long to see you again".

I begin to cry, knowing that I would soon be experiencing the dark again and that the years will pass by with nothingness and I would be separated from the man I loved for an eternity.

"Wylie..." Tyler says. "I don't want the last memory I have of you to be laying on the ground, struggling to breath in my arms". Tyler begins to walk closer, his breath beating on my cheek. "One last dance? For old time sake?" Tyler suggests.

"One last dance" I reply, bringing him closer and kissing him on the lips tenderly.

"Things are going to be boring around here without you, Wylie"

"No, they won't because I don't want you sitting around waiting to die so you can see me again. I want you to be happy, to live the remainder of your years in happiness. This won't work if you just shut down.". Tears now drop from my eyes, unable to control the emotions of the situation which has played out in front of me. "Now, How about that dance?"

We move closer once more, Tyler extending his hand out. I grab his hand and pull him closer. He places his arm on my waist and I place mine on his shoulder, my head resting on the other. We stay in this embrace, moving slowly for what seems for hours, the soft breeze blowing each individual strand of my hair. Slowly, the pace quickens, Tyler taking me by the hand and swinging me around through the air. I spin, gracefully floating through the air like a feather in the breeze. The flowers seem distantly below us as gravity no longer has control. We drift above the flower tops, the colours of each flower seemingly blend into one as we spin effortlessly. He puts his hand on my back, lowering me down and keeping me there, leaning in to kiss me as he slowly brings me back up. As we slow our pace, gravity takes its hold. Slowly, we touch the ground, feeling the soft padding of the warm grass.

"Are you ready for this?" I ask.

"Ready to spend the rest of my life without you?"

"I will wait for you. Do you understand? No matter how long. I will watch from wherever I end up. Make sure you live every year you have to its fullest, and then when you're done we'll have so much to talk about when I see you again."

"Promise?" Tyler says.

"I Promise" I respond, rubbing his cheek a final time. "I love you, Tyler Ringhand"

"I love you, Wylie"

And as quickly as it began, it was over. The light grew brighter and with each passing second Tyler seemed to become further and further away. My eyes begin to squint, unable to keep them open with the pulsating light that had started to beat upon them. My eyes close and within seconds, I become one with the light, unable to fight it no longer. Unsure which journey I am now facing, I look up to the bright sky, awaiting the challenge of what life brings next.