The Wylie Diaries : Where The Flowers Bloom

Chapter Nine: Tomorrow Will Be Kinder

Love, you see, is the one force that cannot be explained, that cannot be broken down to a chemical process. It is the beacon that guides us back home when no one is there, and the light that illuminates our loss. Its absence robs us of all pleasure of our capacity for joy. It makes our nights darker and days gloomier. But when we find love, no matter how wrong, how sad, or how terrible we cling to it, it gives us our strength and holds us upright. It feeds on us and we feed on it. Love is our grace but can be a terrible downfall.

~ Guillermo del Toro

I close the book, thinking about the closing remarks that i had just read. I often thought of my days before the love i have for Tyler developed. The darker nights and gloomier days, the feeling of being lost and having nowhere to turn. The strength it has given me to move on with my life and develop this life in California. Tyler is my strength and the force that holds me upright throughout the darkest times. Our love has never been a terrible downfall. Someone who really loves you sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, and how hard you are to handle, but still wants you in their life. I've never felt the need for anything else but Tyler. That was until we decided to try for a family, that is.

Its been over nine months since we had the meeting at the clinic to see whether or not we would be able to have a child of our own. Tyler took the news hard, I don't think he ever thought that the reason we would never have a child would be his fault. Nine months of attempts and several thousand dollars of expensive procedures and still we have not been blessed with the child that we both have craved for so long. We have discussed the possibility of giving up and just continuing our lives together but it just doesn't seem right. One day we will have the family we have always dreamed of, it just seems far away right now.

Waking up, I peek above the covers, a routine which has become all too familiar. Laying beside me, an overworked Tyler. Ever since he received the news, he has been putting his head down and getting into his work alot more. I worry that he may be overworking, trying to keep his mind off the problem that has been plaguing our minds for the past year.

"All good things come to those who wait" I said, trying to provide as little comfort as I could. "We will have the family we have always dreamed of, I promise".

Tyler turns around, plants a kiss on my forehead and works his way down to my mouth, firmly kissing me on the lips and chin.

"I know Wylie, We've just been waiting so long now. I'm losing hope" He says, resting his head on my chest.

I rub the back of his head in an attempt to provide support without saying much at all, unsure if my words would change the way he is currently feeling. Without saying anything, he removes his head from my grasp and rolls off the bed, quickly standing up and putting on the clothes which had been put neatly into a pile by the side of the bed. Today we both decided to go into work together, often we go in at different times so one of us is there at all times but today we decided differently. I crawl out of bed and search through the pile of clothes which lay next to the bed, unorganised compared to that of Tyler's pile. We both quickly put on our clothes, brush our teeth and make ourselves look presentable for a day at the office.

Whilst sitting on the sofa, ready to leave for the day ahead, Puddle comes over and jumps onto our laps. Almost knowing our moods and what we are thinking, he buries his face between our bodies, almost forcing us to stroke his furry body. As we both stroke his body, he begins to wiggle, trying to free his head from the grasps of our two bodies.