The Wylie Diaries : Where The Flowers Bloom

Chapter Eighteen: For What Seems Like Forever

"He has cancer" the doctor said. 

The words that you often hear others talk about and pray you would never have to hear yourself. Afterall, it was not long ago that I felt the dreaded gaze of death when I had my accident. The experience I went through... the feeling of floating away and being taken to another place. It truly changed me. I found peace saying goodbye then. I was given another chance. Unfortunately, the universe does not want to give me that chance again.

"You okay?" I whisper into Tyler's ear as he rolls over to face me.

"Just perfect" he replies.

"Are you ready to go on our big adventure?" I ask.

"Give me five more minutes. I'm feeling pretty tired today" Tyler responds, closing his eyes and seemingly drifting off to sleep.

I laid there for what seems like hours, feeling his warm breath beat against my cheek, wondering when the day would come that I would no longer feel it. He has become very tired lately, he finds it hard to do even basic tasks some days. Looking after me has really taken its toll on him.

"I love you" I whisper into Tyler's ear.

Ever since the cancer started, he would always tell me that he would tell me he loved me tomorrow, he said it gave me something to look forward to.

"I'll tell you how much I love you tomorrow" he said.

We said we would go to the place we first met and reminisce about old times. I liked that idea. I felt it was exactly what we needed, what I needed. It was a hot and sunny day. The sun beating upon my pale skin and the wind blowing through my now damaged and broken hair. Not having the energy to put into my appearance has taken its toll on my looks. I am almost a shell of the man I was a few years ago. 

We arrived at the lake we had our first date at, it usually takes a few hours to drive there but because I fell asleep I had not realised that the sky had now turned dark and white pin pricks of light were scattered across it.  I felt more tired than usual, a dull sensation filled my body but my body was too tired to register pain. 

"Can you help me out?" I ask.

"Of course" Tyler responds, walking around to my side of the car, opening the door and allowing me to lean on him as I get up from the clutches of the car seat.

We move from the car, finding our way over to the lake. The white pin pricks of light reflected in the lake's embrace. Although dark, there was still warmth in the air that seemed to dance its way towards me, wrapping itself around me to keep me going for a little longer.

I think Tyler knew what was happening. He was silent for a few minutes, gazing at the moving lake, probably blaming it for the fate that had been placed upon me.

"Don't blame anybody" I say.

"Huh?" He replied.

"Don't do that. Don't pretend you do not know what I am talking about. You're too easy to read, Tyler."

He smirked. "I guess you're right."

"It was meant to be this way. Some people are meant to live forever, others are like ocean breezes. They come and go in the flow of time."

I felt my legs weaken. Tyler, now grabbing my arm to support me, looks at me with his teary eyes.

"I'm ready, Tyler. It's funny... Even though we are so different I feel like I've always known you. Maybe its because I've been in your mind or maybe that is just how you know you love someone"

"I do love you, you know" Tyler says, a tear streaming down his face as he realises the inevitable conclusion.

"You... You said you wouldn't say that... You said you would always keep that for tomorrow." A tear rolled down my face, landing on top of my cheek. "I really don't have another tomorrow, do I? The noise, make it go away."

He couldn't. For him there was nothing but silence. The lights in the night sky began to flicker.

"Tyler? What is happening?"

"Your heart is slowing but it still beats. You're fighting" He says, using all of his strength to hold me upright and to keep me from crumbling to the ground. "Because you want to live."

"I wanted to be brave. I... wanted to handle this with dignity. I can't. I... don't want to go. I'm so scared..." my voice trembling as I begin to realise that this is the final goodbye. "When I said I was ready to die.. I was full of it. I just wish I had done more than live this life and be a failure of a husband."

"Don't you for a second think that you failed me" Tyler said angrily. "You stayed my hand. Quelled my rage. You inspired goodness in me and unlike all of the souls I have encountered and forgotten in the long sands of time... I will carry you with me"

"I guess.. that makes me immortal" I reply, feeling my body stiffen and the energy in my cells leave me.

"No, no, no. Not yet. Stay a little longer"

"Do you remember, the words I told you not so long ago?"

Tyler looks around, trying his hardest to remember the advice I gave him when I first found out I had cancer. "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it."

"I was never naive to think that I was your light but there is light in you. All that anger, the cycle of abuse that began when you were a child, the feeling that you are never enough. You can do it, you can end it. You have to. Promise me Tyler, so you can be the light for our little girl."

I collapse onto his chest, his arms now wrapped around me for our final embrace.

"Do not be afraid" he says. "You go now, where many have gone before you and where even I will go in time. Just know... There will be no more pain. No more suffering. No more heartbreak. You will find peace"

The lights around me dim further. The world now as black as the sky but the little pin pricks of light have vanished. The nothingness consumes me. I feel stiff.. lifeless and unable to move. I feel my life leaving my body. Every muscle in my body ceases to function and finally, after years of cancer, my heart beats its final beat. 

I found peace.