Shoot Him, Not Me! | Write To Rank

2. Wait, are you my maternal or paternal granny?

Elaine grew up hearing all kinds of tales from her grandmother about her sexcapades, love adventures, and experiments with romance which all led to her meeting the love of her life.

With no pictures to back up those stories, Elaine had always regarded them with a mixture of amusement and skepticism. They seemed too colorful to be true, and the mysterious figure of her long-lost grandfather had always been a central character in these narratives.

A grandfather she never got to meet and only learned of through her granny's dreamy sighs and fluffy stories. At some point, she thought him a figment of her old woman's imagination. That was until she spotted her grandmother sneaking out of the house, attempting an incredibly unsuccessful act of stealth in broad daylight.

Jessica was hardly the nimble, secretive type anymore, thanks to her advanced age and rusty joints. 

Elaine's curiosity got the best of her, and she decided to follow her grandmother discreetly. She watched as Jessica made her way to a small house on the outskirts of town. There, she couldn't help but cringe as Jessica groaned while lowering herself to her knees behind a thick bush.

There, she squinted hard after making sure her glasses were meticulously clean and kept watching an old man grumble under his breath while scolding a couple of kids. His grumbling was punctuated by occasional laughter, and he seemed to have an air of warmth and familiarity about him despite her seeing him for the first time in her life.

At first, she feared she might have to report old Jessica for stalking until a light bulb flickered in her brain.

The man bore an uncanny resemblance to the descriptions her grandmother had shared over the years. She realized that he fit every detail she had recounted about her long-lost lover.

Later that night, she decided to confront her sneaky granny. Flustered, Jessica could only spill the beans. "He's your grandpa."

"I figured as much," Elaine huffed. "Why were you stalking him like a pervert, Jess?"

The feeble whack she received didn't affect her the least. She'd taken worse beatings and managed to slither away unscathed. The sting of her grandma's palm felt more like a mosquito bite to her.

Annoyance ebbed away until it was soon replaced by downturned lips and sad eyes. "We never got married."

Elaine clapped her hands, her eyes widening and her mouth forming an "o" shape. "So, mom was born out of wedlock? Wait, are you my maternal or paternal granny?"

"Neither." Jessica rolled her eyes. 

"I had my suspicions," Elaine hummed, trying to remember when and for how long she'd known Jessica. "Doesn't matter. Don't even know who my folks are. Never met them."

Jessica shook her head and then clicked her fingers. "Focus, child, that ain't our topic right now."

"Yeah, yeah, right. Sorry. My head got pounded a lot on my last mission so I've been getting sidetracked more than usual lately."

"Younglings," Jessica muttered before launching into a new story about her first, last, and only love. 

They had experienced one intense, passionate, and page-flipping love affair that was borderline peak soap opera production with dramatic twists and turns.

"But," Jessica added with a hint of bitterness, "that asshole never put a ring on it. As soon as I brought up marriage, there was nothing but dust left...dust that I've been cleaning on my own for the past two decades."

"Wasn't it three?" Elaine interjected, earning herself another whack from Jessica which prompted a devilish grin across her face. "Want me to kill him for you?"