One Last Whisper

Chapter Ten

  Teenagers tend to over exaggerate everything. Like when we have that first heart break we say, " Oh my God I'm never going to find another like you." while sobbing hysterically and looking at a worn out photograph of the one we wanted to spend forever with. Yet the moment someone cute catches your eye you're suddenly okay. But at this moment I felt as if I was walking to my doom. My heart was beating so hard that I was sure everyone in the theater could hear it. Spencer was here and I couldn't curl up into a ball and cry about it. I could, but I'm sure they would call the guys in white to come haul me away. Although a loony bin would be way easier to endure than this, I can't back out now. When Asia and I get to the theater, the movie has already started. We graze the rows of seats of people texting, munching loudly on popcorn, and attempting to whisper, in search of Robin and Spencer, quietly calling their names. Suddenly Robin pops up to our right and yells obnoxiously loud "We're over here!' earning us a few death glares and obscene hand gestures. Ducking my head embarrassed, apologizing to those whose feet I trample trying to make my way over to my friends, with Asia in tow.

   When we get to Robin and Spencer, there are only two seats available between Robin and Spencer, and one on the other side of Robin. Just as I'm about to take the empty seat, farthest away from Spencer, Asia swoops in and ruins the day, taking the seat I wanted. Not wanting to cause anymore commotion, shooting Asia the angriest glare I can muster without offending Spencer, I reluctantly take the seat in between Robin and Spencer. Spencer gives me that sad lopsided smile, he does when he is sorry. I shoot him an over enthusiastic smile and shakily take my seat, not wanting to hurt his feelings. Our arms brush slightly every once in a while and I can feel the warmth of his skin through my jumper, which oddly causes me to shiver. He shoots me a questioning look and I just shake my head. I smile glad to see that hasn't changed. You see me and Spencer communicate through looks and gestures that no one else seems to understand. I guess since we've been around each other for so long, we can sort of gauge each other’s emotions. I try not to think about any of that right now. I’ll just enjoy the movie and ignore my mind's incessant chatter about Spencer.

   The movie is a romance story, which makes me kind of queasy. My cheesy romance soap operas were endurable, but this is just sickening. I squirm as a graphic love scene comes on the screen. At that moment flashbacks of that night start to twirl and dance around in my mind, beckoning me to pay them attention. My palms become really sweaty and I feel as if I'm going to be sick. I can't move though. I'm rooted to my seat having a panic attack on the verge of passing out. I glance at Asia and Robin who look at each other and giggle, amused by the characters love making happening on screen. I look to my other side and Spencer is looking at me with concern and some other unfathomable emotion written on his face. I give him a pleading look, begging him to get me the hell out of here. That's all he needs to see. Next thing I know I'm being pulled out of my seat and into strong sure arms. He carries me bridal style to the main isle, knocking past frustrated pedestrians, and out of the theater. Once we are out in the lobby Spencer carries me to a women's bathroom, not caring to what the others in the bathroom might think of that. Once I see an empty stall, I literally jump out of his arms and huddle over the toilet, not caring about the odor permeating from the toilet. I lose my breakfast within a matter of seconds and soon I'm dry heaving. I can feel Spencer behind me tenderly and carefully pulling back the few tendrils that managed to escape my messy bun. His cool hands feel nice when they brush my heated skin at the nape of my neck, succeeding in calming me down.

   I'm huddled over a dirty toilet bowl, a sheen of sweat covering my skin underneath my sweater, with the boy I love watching all of it. After I'm done emptying my stomach, I lean back against the wall of the stall. I avoid Spencer's concerned and curious eyes while he squats next to me. This is so not how I pictured my day going. "Isa, are you OK?” he asks as I stare off into space not answering him, trying to force myself to do a vanishing act. This is embarrassing and painful. I had allowed myself the fantasy that one day I'll get better and then Spencer and I could be together, but this has only deterred me more. There is no way in hell I could allow him to be caught up in this shit. I can't even look at someone kissing and making out without me literally spilling my guts.