Alex and Annie: A Bad Jokes Spinoff

Chapter 1 (Annie): Wasting My Time

Sex with Alex Matthewson was always off the charts incredible, but it was the after that meant even more to me. He'd pull me to him, and he'd arrange me so my head was on his chest and my hand was on his abs. And those wonderful arms of his were wrapped around me. We'd talk, and he'd sift my hair through his fingers until I'd fall asleep. I think I fell in love with him during those times.

But I didn't dare tell him because I knew his reputation and he stopped seeing women if they became clingy—Alex code for they caught feelings he didn't want them to have. When we began, he made it clear to me what we were, what we wouldn't be and what we weren't. At the time, I had no problem with that because I felt the same. I'd gotten out of a horrible relationship and the last thing I wanted was anything serious. But that had been two years ago and somewhere along the way, those arms of his had healed me.

They'd healed me to the point that I'd fallen in love with this intelligent, funny man.

Who didn't love me back.

He loved being with me—he made that clear when we were out to dinner or whatever we were doing.

"You're easy to be with, Annie. No drama, just fun and sweetness."

And for a while, that's how I felt. I'd needed easy, too, and fun and sweetness. But then...isn't there always a but then moment in a FWB situation on one person's part? But then I began to look forward to seeing his smile, to feeling that mouth on mine, to hearing his deep voice in my ear. When he was away for work, I missed him more than I thought I ever would. When he came back, my heart felt full again. Happy. Complete.

It took a while for me to admit to being in love since my heart had been crushed before in such a way that I'd thought it'd been beyond repair. But Alex, without even trying, repaired me. He didn't even know he had, but that didn't make it any less true. Alex had won a prize he didn't even want.

So I kept my feelings to myself and enjoyed what we had, and maybe, in the back of my mind, I hoped that he might come to love me, too. He seemed to feel something for me — he was so tender and gentle with me, I didn't see how a man could treat someone like that and not have feelings for her. But he'd never said anything...until tonight. It began so well. My heart started beating like crazy. But then came the crash.

We'd just finished making love and he'd pulled me onto his chest as always when he'd said, "I know this is going to seem crazy and out of left field, but I feel like I'm finally ready for a relationship. Like a grown up, committed relationship."

I almost leapt off the bed. He felt the same way I did! He wanted a relationship with me! I was practically hyperventilating—my patience had been rewarded with this man coming to feel the same way I did! My eyes filled with tears, the happiness inside of me trying to spill out but I blinked them back, not wanting to ruin this perfect moment with waterworks.

"And what brought this on?" I asked, giving him the perfect opportunity to tell me how he'd fallen for me.

"I'm honestly not sure," he said, his voice thoughtful. "I think you've shown me that being with someone can feel good, right. That you can be comfortable and be yourself with someone and if it's right, it's drama-free and makes you look forward to being with the other person."

Yes, yes, yes! I feel the same way, Alex!

"So thank you, Annie. I want to find a woman just like you to be with."

Just like me? Just LIKE me? But not me?

"Someone just like me?"

Alex laughed and kissed my head. "Yeah. I want someone I can be friends with, like you and I are friends, Annie, but more, you know?"

No, no. I did most certainly not know. 

"If she's the understanding sort, you can be my best man...well, woman because you really have become my best friend, Annie."

I loved this man and he wanted me to be the best man at his wedding to another woman? Was he completely without brain cells?

"I don't think any woman would want someone you've fucked to be at your wedding, much less be your best man, Alex."

"She'll know she has absolutely no reason to be jealous of you. I'll make sure of it. I don't want to lose our friendship, Annie."

You already did, Alex, because I was dumb enough to fall in love with you.

"You ready to sleep?" he asked.

"I can't stay tonight," I lied. When he'd called to say he was back, I'd cleared my weekend, knowing he'd want me 24/7 like he always did when we'd been apart.

He rolled me over onto my back, his eyes confused. "Why? I haven't seen you in a month? I thought we'd have the whole weekend together."

I wanted to cry but that would just make him ask questions I wasn't going to answer.

"Annie, come on. Can't you change your plans?"

I already, did, Alex, just now. "Sorry, I can't."

"Please? Doesn't some more fun tonight sound good followed by breakfast together? Then a lazy day, just the two of us?"

I needed to leave, right away. Rolling away from him, I tumbled out of bed and grabbed at my clothes. That prompted him to jump out of bed and come toward me.

"Annie, what's going on? This isn't like you. You always spend the night."

Figure it out, Alex! I'm leaving now because you just revealed you're ready for a relationship with someone LIKE me, but who is not me. While I pulled on my clothes, I thought of another horrifying thought.

"Do you have someone in mind for your future wife?"

"Actually, the new woman at work, Shelby? She was my handler for the last mission and I was sensing something could be there. She did a great job and she mentioned celebrating my success when I got back. So we'll see. Maybe I should have you vet her before I commit to dinner."

I was ready to jump out the window to not have to listen to any more of this. The man I loved wanted me to screen his candidates for his future Mrs.? I couldn't get dressed fast enough. And having to watch a possible workplace romance develop between the two of them? I felt sick at the thought.

"Be careful of relationships with people at work," I said softly. "That doesn't always end well."

"That's where you come in," he teased. "You can befriend her and let me know what you think."

"No, I'm staying out of your love life."

"Come on, Annie, no one knows me better than you do. You could get to know her and let me know if I'd be wasting my time."

Like I've been doing with you?

Purse and keys now in hand, I allowed myself one last kiss from Alex, one last bittersweet kiss before I cut him out of my life.

"Annie, please stay," he said sweetly when I pushed away.

"I can't," I said.

And I really couldn't.