Alex and Annie: A Bad Jokes Spinoff

Chapter 13 (Alex): She Opened Her Door

"Annie, can we talk?"

It'd been seven weeks since I'd crashed her date. Seven weeks since she'd talked with me. Seven weeks since she'd told me in no uncertain terms that we were not in a relationship and we were not together.

She'd followed that statement up with a concise summary of what she thought of all the bullshit I'd spewed at her that night. While I was still reeling from her surgical strike, she opened the door to her car, got in and drove away from me. A finality to her actions, one that left me standing there thinking holy shit. What have I done?

So I'd spent the last seven weeks talking and thinking. I talked with my parents, my sister and Rory's husband. It was the conversation with Gracelyn that was, perhaps, the most raw and honest. I'd gone over there for some advice the day after I royally fucked things up with Annie, and while I did get advice -- Gracie-style -- I'd also gotten a heaping side order of uncomfortable truths. It was ugly, it was difficult, but I came out of the conversation with so much shit to think about it consumed me until I got called out on a five-week mission that left only limited time to think about Annie or my team and I might get dead. 

The day after I'd crashed her date, I'd shown up at our parents' condo where Gracie was currently living and I'd paced the floor for about ten minutes while my sister and her cat, Mouse, silently watched me. After I'd explained in detail about showing up for Annie's date and the conversation we'd had in the parking lot, I ended it with, "I don't get it, Gracie. I thought Annie wanted to be together."

"Are you being real right now, Alex?"

"Yeah, Gracie, I am. I don't understand women at all."

"Well, right back at you because I don't understand men."

"Instead of making this about all men, can we just narrow the focus to my problem with Annie?"

"Your problem with Annie?" Gracie actually laughed at that. "Your problem isn't with Annie; the problem is you. You're not taking this seriously, Alex. You think you can just charm your way into her life the way you've always used your charm -- but that charm has worn thin with her and isn't working because she's too smart to fall for it. You claimed exemption from any and all responsibility of having to be part of a relationship. You told her that you're like a puppy that needs training, Alex. Why in the hell would any woman want to take that on? Explain the appeal of that to me, other than the fact that puppies are cute. You can't because there isn't any appeal! You think you're such a catch that you can just claim being a dickhead and she'll accept that? Come on."

"I've never been in a relationship, Gracie. I don't know fuck-all about it. I don't know what to do. It's like everything I try is wrong, and every time I open my mouth, I fuck it up worse."

"God! What is it with you men? You think that not being able to think clearly is a pass? You think never having been in a relationship is a pass? Or if you have been in a relationship, that having your mind scrambled is an excuse for stupid behavior?"

"Who are we really talking about here, Gracie? Me...or Wyatt?"

"Don't you dare try to turn this around on me, Alexander. You're losing Annie because you can't handle your shit. You need to step up and be a man instead of a jackass. And you know, maybe Rory, Justice and I share some of that blame because we let you blackmail us into getting you out of every clingership you've ever been in. We never let you handle it, we never made you have to deal with a woman, look her in the face and say I'm sorry, this isn't working for me and I can no longer see you. You've avoided responsibility all your life, and it's coming back to bite you in the ass now."

"I wasn't in a relationship with those women!"

"They thought they were in one with you, maybe."

"I told them how it was. I always explained up front that it was nothing but sex and it was only ever going to be temporary. It's not on me --"