Alex and Annie: A Bad Jokes Spinoff

Chapter 12 (Annie): Bulldozing

Before leaving for my date, I used the peephole to check the hallway. Fortunately, I didn't see Alex's face out there.

Even though Alex had put me in a foul mood, I was determined to go on my date. This was a friend's brother-in-law's brother, a blind date, which didn't thrill me but she'd assured me that he was really smart, nice and not bad looking.

That sounded perfect to me because falling for a man who was so damn good looking hadn't gotten me anything but heartache and, lately, anger. And let's not forget those homicidal urges.

So feeling at least confident in the deep purple dress I was wearing, I walked out of my apartment, down the hall and took the elevator to the ground floor. No sign of Alex, but I still looked warily around the parked cars as if he'd be popping out to stop me from meeting my date.

I sighed with relief when I got into my car and drove out of the parking lot. He must have gotten the message that I was unhappy with him in a serious way. Yeah, that's right, Alex, you don't get to break into my apartment and tell me we're together because I will boot your ass out before you know what's happening.

I was still fuming about the man's audacity. Who did Alex think he was to just assume he could declare us together after the shit he'd pulled? The only positive from his visit was scoring the delicious Chinese food I'd be eating for the next couple of days, so I was taking my wins where I could.

Why is it that Alex couldn't have had this grand realization that he wanted me when it would have mattered? But no! He'd wanted someone like me.

Now, apparently, he wanted me, but who was to say he wouldn't change his mind again? Was it just jealousy that had changed his mind? Or was it something deeper? Having not the first clue, I shook off my mood as I walked into the restaurant, gave the hostess my name and she led me to the table where...Alex was seated.

"What are you doing here?" I didn't bother asking how he figured out where I'd be meeting my date because this was Alex and he had skills.

"You said you had a date. Since we're together now, thought I should meet him, make sure he's OK. Make sure if he knows if he tries anything, I know at least thirty ways to kill him that are untraceable." He shrugged. "You know, typical first and only date stuff."

"Alex!" I shrilled, maybe a tad loudly since I'd drawn the other diners' notice. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Alex, you need to leave right now."

"My appetizer hasn't even arrived," he explained. "I couldn't possibly leave before that gets here. Plus, they're bringing a bread basket."

"You aren't eating with us."

"I got your favorite appetizer," he said persuasively. "I'll share."

His eyes went behind me for a moment. "Seriously, Annie? This guy's fucking orange."

A minute later, I was meeting Keith, who had tried to give himself a glow up with what had clearly been a cheap self-tanner that had, indeed, turned him a tiny bit orange.

"Annie?" he asked. "I'm Keith."

"Hello, Keith, nice to meet you," I said, shaking his hand.

Alex stood up and held out his hand.

"Hi, I'm Alex. Annie's boyfriend."

It took Keith a second. "Nice to meet...I'm sorry -- you're her boyfriend?"

"No!" I said emphatically.

"Yes, I am."

"Wait, why are you going out on dates if you have a boyfriend?"