Diary of a broken heart

4🥀

I want to ask a question..

Have you ever felt so sad that you just don't know what comes after it. I mean, what's after sadness?. What's after when you've cried and you can no longer cry anymore. Whats after when you're trying to keep your cool but slowly reaching your breaking point?. What's after when your heart breaks and you don't know if there's any shred that's left unbroken?.

Numbness??. Am I permitted to give it that?. You can no longer cry. You can no longer feel anything. You're just there. Just existing. Just breathing but not dead. You can't even feel anything but just lost in space.

Have you ever felt so numb that you just don't know what comes after it?. You're tired of not feeling anything. What happens when you're tired of feeling nothing and you so badly want to feel something.
I think it's self destruction. That's the word I'd give it. I think that's what happens next. You just want to feel something even if it's physical pain. You want to feel something so bad, then you hurt yourself. Is it taking the pills to make you feel alive at that moment?. The pills that would soon ruin you?. Is it taking the blade and causing damages to your skin?. Or is it deciding to end the feelings forever by committing suicide?.

What comes after all these?. What comes after when you don't even give a damn about your self destructive ways?.

What do you feel?..

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