With Me | Chris Sturniolo

17

I pull on Chris's shirt with the hand that's resting on his back beneath his leather jacket, trying to get him not to bet that much money. I know the guys said he never loses, but there's always a chance.

He ignored me and said, "let's do this"

"Great" Olly said, excitedly. Chris told me that Olly doesn't get anything from the racer's entrance fee, but he gets a cut from everyone who bets on them. He's probably going to make a lot of money from this.

"Get ready and meet me at the starting line, with your cars and money, in fifteen minutes. Let's have a clean race!" Olly turned around, going back to hype everyone up and take bets for the race.

Walking back to the group with Chris and Nate was tense. Chris was out of his mind. The difference between two grand richer and two grand poorer depended on a five minute race.

Before we get to the group, Chris pulled on my hand, bringing us to a stop. "I need a minute with Sabrina. Tell everyone what's going on" Chris told Nate, who nodded and went back to the group.

Chris let go of my hand and looked at me. I've never seen him with a more guilty look before. He had his guard down with me, letting me read his emotions which was completely different to how he was just now.

This is real. This is Chris. He felt comfortable enough to let his guard down and let me in.

"Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not, but two grand is a lot of money, Chris! That's college money or for your brothers-"

"Not that" he said, cutting me off. "I mean, for breaking my promise"

I froze, realising why he looked guilty. "I told you I wouldn't fight and I nearly caused one anyway. I just- I had to"

I can't handle this. If he gets any cuter, my heart will explode. My body moved on its own, stepping closer to him.

"I'm not mad at you" I told him. "I don't need to know the details to know he deserves that one"

"Justin's Dad is my stepfather, and he's my stepbrother, and I hate him"

Deep down, I knew, but thought if I didn't acknowledge it, it wouldn't have to be true- like if you ignore something long enough it'll go away. The thought of Chris dealing with Justin because his Mom married his Dad when they were kids made me ache for him. I nodded, keeping eye contact with him.

I didn't want to think about their history or what Justin meant when he said the men in his family are known to 'beat' Chris. I don't want to acknowledge it's double meaning and what that could mean about his childhood.

"So, we're okay?" He asked gently

"We're never not okay"

He took my hand again, something he's become fond of and we headed back to the group.

"Chris"

I tugged on his hand, bringing us to a stop.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" I said, ignoring the guilt stabbing at my heart.

"The same goes for you, Sabrina"

And I really believe it. Chris is here for me. His past actions have done nothing but solidify that statement and I wanted nothing more than to open up to him. I wish I could tell someone my story and to be me.

Chris could be that guy- the perfect guy. I knew deep down, that Chris could help me. I was so tempted to blurt it all out and cry into his arms.

But I can't and I won't.