With Me | Chris Sturniolo

23

I wish I could say that after Chris and I kissed, we became all lovey and had a perfect happily ever after, but we don't.

Why? Because of me.

I'm stupid, and I technically don't exist, and won't exist in a few weeks.

I kissed Chris when I knew I shouldn't have, even though it felt really, really good. The guilt came back to haunt me. Whenever I think about Chris, it creeps up my throat until I can barely breathe.

The way Chris makes me feel is incomparable to anything I've ever felt, but that's because I know him. I know he's responsible and loyal. I know when he's hiding a smile or when he's annoyed or when he's deep in thought about something important.

But most of all, I know his name. Can he say the same for me?

The reality is, I'm Rachel Morgan, and I've been chased down and had multiple attempts made on my life by a madman. Rachel Morgan caused people to be injured and killed, just by being around her. I don't deserve Chris, and he shouldn't be with someone like me. It's not like I cut him off, but I've been distancing myself.

Sometimes I see him in the hallway and make eye contact, and he'll walk towards me, but I'll rush in the other direction, cursing myself the entire time. I barely said a full sentence to him in class, and I busy myself at lunch. When I see him, I remember how it feels to be held by him and kissed by him.

He's been distracted lately since his stepfather was released from prison on Monday- not that he's tried contacting Chris or the twins. And we had exams this week, so it's been hectic and not too obvious that I've been avoiding him.

But Chris isn't stupid. I know he knows there's something wrong, especially when I feel him staring at me, but with everything going on, he didn't say anything.

Before I know it, two weeks went by and I was clearing out my locker at the end of the day on Friday, the last day of school before winter break.

''Am I still coming over to raid your closet? I'm sure you'll have a dress I can wear for my cousin's wedding this weekend'' Callie asked from where she was leaning on the locker beside mine. ''I can't believe my aunt bought the same dress I was planning on wearing''

''Of course you're still coming over?'' I smiled at her. ''Madison is coming too''

''Party at Sabrina's'' Matt asked as he, Nate and Chris appeared beside Callie.

A few days after it was revealed that Josh roughed me up, the relationship between Nate and Chris was strained.

Chris was pissed because he told Nate to look after me while he was busy because people had it out for me. After a few days, it started getting awkward and making the group feel strained as well. Then one day, they went back to normal, like nothing ever happened, and no one talked about it since.

Mike told Madison, who then told Callie and I, that Nate couldn't take the guilt anymore and went to Chris' house while he and Mike were studying. Apparently Nate yelled at Chris to hit him because he felt guilty and Chris told him that he deserved to feel guilty.

Nate apparently lunged at Chris and they started hitting each other. After a few minutes they hugged it out, and they ordered pizza, acting like nothing happened.

''no'' I answered Matt, while trying to ignore Chris' eyes on me. ''Last time I was at a party with you, Matt, you ended up in the hospital''

''Can't make the same mistake twice, right?'' Matt laughed, rubbing his head where he got the stitches that night.

Chris's eyes burn a hole in my soul, so I pretend to be busy with some papers in my locker.

I assumed Callie rolled her eyes at Matt. ''It's girls night''