I Wonder What It Would Be Like (Boy Love Novel)

Curiosity and Confusion

Chapter two

Finn looked at the clock, twenty more minutes, and the class would be empty, and he could take his nap. Hoping to put everything Jacob and Joseph had said in the back of his mind, he slid his arm onto the desk and put his head down. Was he into guys? He had never really thought about it that way? Just because this guy was looking at his picture didn't mean anything, maybe he looked like someone he knew or maybe he looked weird in the picture. "Ugh who cares, I want to nap. Go back to your seat Jacob. I'll read the note and talk to..."

"I think his name is Steven, he's on the Varsity basketball team."

Joseph whipped his head around. "Steven Cross? He's odd, not Jeffrey Dahmer odd just kind of easy to set off. Timothy has mentioned him, he just gets upset easily. I hope he takes your rejection well, if it is a rejection."

"Is this mess with Finn day? Did you all wake up and come up with different little activities to drive me crazy? Ugh, what the hell is up with today? I even dropped my blueberry muffin coming up the stairs. I just want to sleep, guys." Finn reached in his bag and pulled out the note. No fancy envelope with fancy writing, no perfume, or little hearts, just a simple white envelope. "I won't take too long then I'll talk to him by the end of the day. Can you ask Timothy..."

"I won't involve him if this kid has a temper, they're on the same team after all. I'll let you know if he hears anything about him." Joseph played with his watch then looked up towards the both of them. "Hey, thank you."

"Sure, sure, pay me with bakery goods. I'm going to nap early. Go back to your seat Jacob and remember you want the limited-edition backpack. Call your cousin that works at the mall today because they'll sell out." Finn stretched his arm out on the desk again and lay his head on it as he watched Jacob get up. He held his hand up, blocking the light from the sun that the curtains every once in a while, let sneak through, allowing a sliver of light to flood his eyes. Had he ever felt this weird sensation in his chest? Of course, he had, before debates, recitals, games; nervous anticipation. Curiosity, that was all this was, just simple curiosity. "This is silly, dammit Jacob." He mumbled softly to himself.

His head filled with varying thoughts, so he focused on the most important one, Steven. "He has a temper, that's kind of scary." The confession from the guy with the temper only occupied his mind for a couple of minutes before his mind wandered again. He was curious as to what Timothy looked like; he had never seen that look on Joseph's face before. They had known him since sixth grade, and he had never seen a look of pure joy on his face, had he ever smiled like that, ever? It was nice, had he been like this all along and he just hadn't given him a chance in the last three years to share it or had Timothy changed him? How much do you have to love someone to change so much? Love, is it really that powerful? Not familial love but love for and from another person, was it that strong that it crept through your body and dictated your mood, your life, your soul. Wasn't love just a prop used in the books he read or the dramas and movies he watched?

Had those that confessed to him ever had that look on their face when they spoke of him to their friends? Suddenly his heart was aching for those who he had hurt. How many so far, did he even have a number? Had they gotten over him and found love somewhere else, were they happy? He felt a knot in his stomach, would he ever feel that, that happiness he saw in Joseph. He wanted to feel it, he wanted to meet someone he could write his own note to. What would he write, would it be the same as the notes he had received? They all seemed different; every note felt different. All of the author's emotions, desperation, admiration, desire; every note carrying its owner's feelings and wants different from one another. How many of those people had he devastated by rejecting them, would he be punished for that.

He felt a knock on his desk and looked up to see Joseph's phone lying flat against the desk. He flipped it over slowly and found the picture of an extremely good-looking guy with a smile that rivaled Joseph's. If he had to be perfectly honest the guy was hot. "Wow."