I Wonder What It Would Be Like (Boy Love Novel)

He's Beautiful

Chapter 3

His face felt warm, a warmth radiating and reaching out to Finn. This uninvited and unknown sensation that traveled from this mystery boy's face to his fingertip that now crept across his body, everything was warm, his cheeks, his ears, the back of his neck. A warmth stronger than the warmth given to him by the sun those curtains kept teasing him with. His stomach felt weird, a nervousness he had never experienced; confusion, excitement, embarrassment, an onslaught of emotions flooded him. His entire being now frozen in time and space with that beautiful stranger that now sat next to him. This, what was happening to him right now was beyond anything he could have wondered about each evening in his room alone. The warmth, the attention, the contact he had craved, with a simple action was given to him. How?

"Since I've let you poke, my dimple, can you answer me?" Alexander carefully returned his hand to him. "I asked if that was your real eye color or if you wore contacts." Alexander placed his backpack on his lap and reached into the desk to make sure it was empty. He pulled a notebook out from his bag and placed it inside the desk. He noticed Finn's book bag open and stared at the contents briefly then glanced back at him. "You haven't answered. Are you sensitive about them?"

"Yes, no, wait. My name is Finn Briar. Wait, you said that already. No, they're not contacts, they're just...some people think they're weird, so I just don't really talk about them, so I don't think about them until someone mentions them." One of the most eloquent speakers, that was the award you got last year. Where the fuck is that eloquence right now?

"Why would someone think they're weird?" Alexander tilted his head and placed his finger on Finn's chin then turned his head gently from side to side admiring his face from ear to ear, cheek to cheek, green to blue. "They're emerald and bright blue, I've never seen anyone with two eye colors, Heterochromia, right? They're amazing."

Emerald not green. Not a simple or plain green but emerald, he wanted to smile. Wait, what just happened? Had he really just grabbed his face without a second thought as if it was a common occurrence with someone you'd just met? He broke that bubble Finn was relying on to keep some sort of safe separation between the two. Why did it seem like they were sitting so close to each other? It never seemed like that when Jacob sat next to him but now, now he could feel his body wanting to lean towards him. No, actually he felt like it was pulling him, some invisible force field had taken over his body. Wait had he really just poked his dimple. What the fuck was happening? Don't act weird Finn, for the love of everything you hold dear...do not act weird.

He sat motionless as Alexander carefully let go of his chin then smiled. How had he so easily taken his finger and poked his dimple? How had he touched his face so casually? How was he sitting there so calmly while he did it? How was he so composed, so at ease with this interaction? All the while Finn's heart was thundering in his chest, couldn't he hear it? Couldn't everyone walking through the halls hear the echoes of his heart beating wildly and unrestrained in his chest? What could he do to make it slow down? Breathe Finn for fuck's sake breathe.

Thoughts now raced through his mind attempting to analyze each movement, each action. Usually if you like someone you would be really nervous around them, at least that's how it is in movies and tv shows right? Stumbling, fidgeting, stuttering individual bullet points making attraction so blatantly obvious but his new desk mate was calm. Wait, you idiot, why would he like me right away? Why had he listened to Jacob and Joseph? Now this thing was stuck in his head and if he kept it up being around him would be awkward.

This was probably just common for him, like Jacob putting his arm around him when they walked together. He must be the type that is very casual and physical. Like those guys that lean on each other or hang on their friends while they watch videos on their phone. Just like that, he must be just like that. Had he really gotten his hopes up for nothing? Suddenly he was reflecting on everyone he turned down. Had they felt this way when they looked at him? Did their hearts cry out to him when they saw him? Had he truly been as kind as he thought he had?