Through the Years with Nick and Charlie

News

Charlie:
   It's been a great week of living in our own personal bubble. Me not going to help at the school, Nick not having to do anything rugby related, we've just been enjoying each other's company. But it all starts again tomorrow, Nick getting up at the ass crack of dawn for trainings everyday and not getting back until 8pm, and me trying to do something with all the time I have alone. Selfishly, I sometimes wish that Nick chose a different profession, preferably one where I can wake up to him, but it's all worth it when I see him play and the joy he gets from it.
    I was getting ready for bed when Nick called me from the bedroom "Char, can I talk to you for a minute please" I'd be lying if I said that, that question didn't give me chills anytime I was asked that. I walk out of our bathroom into the bedroom and flop onto our bed next to Nick "yeah what's up" I ask shifting my body to face him, sitting crisscross. "So, you know how training starts back up this week for the Olympics" he pauses for a bit " I got a message from coach saying how like practices might be longer and more intense and everything, how some won't be local and scrimmages will be out of the country for the next like eight months until the tournament actually starts" he pauses again " I just wanted to make sure you um- that you knew" he finishes off and I grab his hands as I think of my reply " yea I know Nick, not that I want this to be the case with all honesty but I figured cause it's the fucking Olympics " I say with a smile at the end. He doesn't smile at my remark which makes me a little worried for what's about to come "um- coach offered all the players a room at the training center so that it's not too much you know getting up earlier and the drives, we just get up and go. And I guess to bond with the other lads and make sure there's no distractions and stuff" I sigh at that statement hoping that the answer to my next question is "no". " Is that what you want" he takes longer to answer and my heart has dropped to my stomach waiting for him to reply " I-I..." I try to be patient with his reply but it only makes me feel self conscious and insecure "Am I a distraction to you" I loosen my grip, terrified of his answer. He takes what feels like ages to respond so I just fully let go of his hands and stand up off the bed, starting to ramble " I-I never meant to be I swear I've always just tried to be encouraging and I don't mean to be clingy I just miss you during the days and-" I get cut off by lips being placed against mine, I'm shocked at first but eventually fall into it. He pulls away "You're not a distraction love, l-like the complete opposite, I just- it's all so overwhelming, I just want to make the best decision for us and my performance. I don't want to stay at the center, I can barely make it the 14 hours I don't see you daily, let alone 8-9 months" " You promise you're not just saying that for my sake, it's fine if you want to stay at the center, I was just being dramatic" I say looking at the ground until Nick cups my face and looks into my eyes " I promise baby, I promise, I promise, I promise. And you weren't being dramatic, I took an unnecessary long amount of time to respond to an easy question" I smile at his promises and kiss him first this time. After a bit, I pull away and pull us both back to bed "Do you think we'll see each other at all anyways for the next couple of months or like..." I end with a pause so that Nick can answer "I'm not sure yet to be honest but I know the closer we get to July, the less we'll see each other" I nod at his response just because deep down I already knew the answer "We'll be ok, great even" I say with a smile doing my best not to show any worry.
   I was so excited and anxious about Nick just making the team and I guess I never considered everything else that came with it, including the negatives.

  We've been back at it for almost a week now and it's ok. Nicks schedule hasn't changed too much just yet since we're still pretty far out but I haven't been feeling the best. Not sure if it's because I miss Nick or I just know what's coming that makes me want to throw up every morning.
   I went into school this morning and stopped by the art room to talk to Elle hoping I'll feel a bit better after. We rambled on about random things until I started to feel I was going to be sick again "Charlie are you ok, looking kinda pale" she asks with worry on her face " yea I've just been a bit sick but just like throwing up and once I do I feel fine, I don't know" I pause "it's probably just all the change that I know is coming up and stuff with Nick" I just look at Elle waiting for a response or her opinion "Are you on the pill" she just blurts out "W-what y-yea well not at the moment, I haven't taken it in a while, we haven't even done much until recently because he's been off, but anyways, why" I ask at the random ass question "Are you pregnant" I laugh at her "I'm serious Charlie, like after school I'm taking you to get a test" "okay fine but I'm not pregnant" I reply back with a smile my face packing up my stuff and saying bye to Elle so that I can get to the music block before the kids arrive.
   I go about my day like normal but with a bit of worry because there is a chance I could be, but I'm not so it doesn't matter. I'm not worried about the fact that I could be pregnant, I'm more worried that if I am, which I'm not, I'll have to tell Nick. I never told him I was off the pill. I recall this in the back of my head and start to panic a little because I just cannot be pregnant. Nick is gonna be gone and in training, I'll be alone, and he'll just be worried about me the whole time when he needs to be focused on rugby.
    I call in someone to watch my class for a minute so that I can catch my breath and calm myself down before returning to my class.
    It's the end of the day and I'm sitting in my classroom waiting for Elle to come and pick me up. I wait about 15 minutes until there's a knock on my door "Hey, you ready" "yup" I say hopping up and getting all my stuff. We both get into the car and start the journey to a pharmacy "You're awfully quiet now" Elle points out "Well yeah you've scared the shit out of me" "wait why, I thought you two wanted kids" she asks glancing over at me "I- we do, it just feels like a bad time, with Nick being away so much and in 9 months he'll be off in Paris, and I'll probably have to stay here by myself" I pause knowing Elle's reaction to my next statement isn't goi g to be good "I didn't tell him that I was um- off the pill.." I turn to look at her for a reaction and she just nods her head like she's almost in a panic "yea, yea ok, so you do know that probably wasn't a good idea" I just nod my head as we pull in to the lot and park. Elle goes in by herself to pick out a test as I wait in the car.
  We make it to my house as I know Nick won't be home for at least another four hours. I take the test in the bathroom and turn it facedown before I let Elle in. I sit down on the floor because I feel like my knees just might give out from how nervous and anxious I am. Elle joins me and wraps her arms around me torso "Whatever it says, you'll be ok, you and Nick will be ok. Personally I wouldn't mind being an aunt butttt" "Elleeee" I sigh out as she smiles. We wait the rest of the time and some more because I wasn't ready yet but no matter how long I waited wouldn't change the results. I make my way to the counter and have Elle count me down "5, 4, 3, 2, 1..." I look at the test and back up at Elle with glossy eyes. She grabs the test from my hands, looks at it, and wraps me up in her arms as I completely break down. I'm pregnant....

   I stay in Elle's arms for at least another hour before I send her home so that I can get myself together before Nick comes home. I take a shower, clean up a bit, and eat a small snack before calling Elle to talk some more. We talk for a while until 7:45, about 15 minutes before Nick usually gets here. I sit on the couch and turn the tv on, not really watching because I'm too in my head. I'm so focused on my thoughts that I almost didn't even hear Nick's keys jangle as he unlocks the door. He walks through the door and I practice my fake smile just Incase.  "Hellllooo, lovveee" he sings out putting all of his bags down before walking over to me. He lifts my head back towards him so that he can kiss me upside down. I cooperate as he asks me questions about my day and dinner plans. I wait until there's a gap in the conversation "hey can you come sit?" Nick comes out of the kitchen to our living room and sits next to me on the couch,arm around my shoulder "what's going on baby" he says getting a good look at my face and realizing I'm not okay. There's a long pause in between his question and my response. Nick pulls me in closer to him showing me that he's there for me but it really just makes me scared. "So, you know how we decided I was gonna go on the pill for while like a couple years ago" I pause to give Nick time to nod "I-uh, I stopped taking it around 6 months ago just because we weren't really active as much and the symptoms don't always make me feel great so I-I just stopped" I look up at him to see if he has a reaction yet, but it's just the same worry in his eye from before. I thought that I wouldn't have to actually say the two words to him and he'd just piece it together, but he's still just looking at me like this is nothing. I tried to get the words out but I can't, the tears that I've tried to hold in are now flooding my eyes. "W-wait, love, are you ok" he asks wrapping me up in a bear hug but I pull away knowing that he wouldn't want to hug me if he knew. "Pregnant Nick..." I say sobbing "me". I put my hands over my face "I'm so sorry, I-I know I should've told you...I j-just didn't think anything of it" I say muffled and sit down on the far end of our couch, away from Nick "why was I s-so stupid" I mumble to myself. I'm still on the couch with my head in my hands when I feel familiar arms wrap around me and suddenly I'm in my lover's lap. He waits for me to calm down before saying what's on his mind "You're not stupid at all love, it was just a mistake" he pauses before continuing "I love you so much baby a-and I'm not mad either...do I wish you would've told me about the pill, yea maybe this conversation would have been easier but I'm not mad, I promise" he kisses my head over and over, rubbing my back "How do you feel about it" he asks me softly and I just shrug my shoulders. I hear him sigh and I just can't take him being frustrated with me right now "I'm scared Nick, a-and I don't know what to do" I pause before I start again " Nick, you'll be at training the whole time and then in Paris when I'd be due. I just don't want to be alone while I am. I'll already fuck them up with my horrible genetics, I want to at least raise them right, I just don't know if this is a good time for this" there's a long pause "Can you say something please" I say to Nick. There's a little more silence until it's filled "You're not going to fuck up our kid baby, if anything you'll just make them better. I've honestly dreamt of this day so many times and I've always known I wanted to have kids with you. It was never gonna be easy with our lives but I promise to the end of the Earth that I'll always be here for you in some way" I smile up at Nick and re-adjust myself so that I'm in his lap facing him with my arms around his neck. Nick cups my cheeks and makes his lips connect with mine "I know you're scared, hell, I am too, but I know that we're gonna be ok and whatever happens, we'll do it together. SO" he says with emphasis "YOU my favorite boy in the entire world, will communicate any and everything that you need from and with me no matter what"  I smile at this as he gets up from the couch, making me wrap my legs around "we're gonna be dads" I kissed him on his cheek before he sets me down and me confused as he runs towards the front door. He opens it and suddenly yells " I'M GONNA BE A DADDDD" I laugh at this while he runs back over to me "I love you so much baby" "I love you more char"

A/N: IKK this is moving fast, it's throwing me off too, I just want to get to a good, consistent part of the story line with enough context/background info, sorry🙃