Everything To Lose

Chapter Thirteen

My body collides with a hard surface as his body surrounds mine the second we reach his apartment. Without so much as a single glance at my surroundings I know I am home. This is where I need to be. His hands caress my much to hot skin before in a whirlwind of passion and urgency I find myself naked before him, yet I feel no shame. No need to hide myself or shield my imperfections from his eyes. I know I should but I just can't find that part of me that cares. I want him from the top of my head to the tips of toes I am a barely contained ball of need that only he can set free. Before I can even breath the words he is on me, kissing and touching me with such intensity I feel as though each one is branding me for life. Before I am even aware of what is happening we are falling onto his bed. I know now there is no going back because at that moment, I know now that I am stupidly falling in love with this man. 

"I can't go slow.... I want to because it's what you deserve for your first time." His word are muffled as he lips leave lingering kisses along my neck leading down to my chest. I hear them perfectly though and my whole body tenses against his sensual assault.

"I am not a virgin." I force past the ball threatening to explode in my chest. He freezes and his head lifts so his eyes connect with mine. Why does he look confused? Does he not want me anymore?

"I didn't think you were..." His eyes don't leave mine so I break eye contact and focus his neck. In my defense it is a really lovely neck.

"You.... ah... you...." God why can't I find the damn words. I am a grown woman, of course I am no virgin. So why can't I act like a damn grown woman with him staring directly into my eyes. Hmmm a really strong neck....

"I meant your first time with me. Our first time together should something other than a a quick fumble and a fast fuck." He eyes shine with humor and I find myself relaxing. "I don't think I could handle you being a virgin right now, not with what I have in mind."

"Well...." I urge and tighten my legs around his waist trapping him close to me.

"Well what?" He teases and sucks lightly on my neck but it's not enough. I need more and I tell him that with my word and most definitely with my actions. By the love of God he doesn't disappoint....

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  She is just stood there staring right at me as I lie stretch out in her future Husbands bed, only a thin sheet covering my most intimate parts. The worst part is she doesn't look hurt, she doesn't look anything as she takes us in. She just stands there staring at me like she expected this of me...... of us. I want to defend myself but nothing comes out. How can I possibly tell her it isn't what it looks like? I wonder briefly how those people think they can get away with that excuse because quite frankly it's just stupid. I mean what other reason could I have for being naked - no doubt with major sex hair - in bed with her Fiance. How the hell can I look her in the eyes and tell her the best night of my life was spent fucking the man that in about a month she will be tied to forever. So like the coward I am I squeeze my eyes shut as tight as I can and wait for the screaming to start.

After a what feels like forever, yet in reality is only about a minute and a half of silence I unclench my eyes and look at the empty spot I could of sworn my sister was just standing in. The previously open door is now firmly shut and the only people in the room is the two of us. I imagined it..... I must have, maybe it was my guilty conscience playing tricks on me. It's not like I wouldn't deserve it.

"Hmmmmm.... You feel so good in the morning." Being the horrible person I am, the sound of his voice completely clears my mind of my sister and all the guilt drifts away. He is worth it. As he cuddles up against me a tiny moan passes my lips and my thighs clench, the soreness triggers flashbacks from the night before stealing my breath.