Kurokawa's Journal

Entry Five : Train Tracks(Again)

i had felt sick to my stomach.

so i went to the train tracks again.

the train tracks hidden behind the trees, the train tracks soaked in blood, the train tracks i visit daily, the train tracks i don't feel like explaining. the train tracks you will likely grow familiar with the more you read through this journal. the train tracks a gentle train once transported happy smiling people on. the train tracks that once got a young man to his first day of work, i'd assume. the train tracks that once killed a young man, i'd assume. the train tracks that killed me internally. the train tracks that keep my sister "safe", as safe as you can be with rey hendrix standing next to your gravestone.

i wandered down my path as i always do.

the air felt a little thicker today, i assumed it was nothing.

i already felt sick. maybe i was losing it, maybe i needed to rest, maybe i needed a break, maybe i needed to just breathe. maybe my sister had some kind of suggestion for me, she always did when i was younger.

the air was nearly suffocating, but i kept walking. i shouldn't have kept walking though, because i already had a couple worrying signs.

1. my stomach hurt.
2. the air was thick, thicker than normal, and thicker than it should have been.
3. there was a trail of footsteps that were a different size than my own, and as i continued my path they never stopped. if anything, they went in the exact same path of mine. i had not worn a different size of shoe. someone was watching me, and they had followed me when i had left.
4. i heard a voice inside my body tell me that he was there.

i told myself to assume that it was nothing.

if mom was alive, she'd just tell me i was crazy, and that i should take my anxiety medication.

i don't have those anymore. maybe that's why i'm worrying, or maybe it was the glimpse of that split-dyed hair i saw. maybe it was the literal living proof of my worries, of my stomach ache, and of the air being thicker than normal. maybe it was the glove wearing man standing, staring at my sister's grave.

rey hendrix.

the man who attempted to assassinate me 7 months after my sister died.
previously a member of the miracles, but he himself had left the miracles 3 months before the hospital was burned down.
he's always smiling, even when he's wearing his stupid surgical mask. you can just always tell that he's smiling. it's inviting, and friendly, when you first view it. but if you get to know him for even a few days, you begin to get a suspicion that that smile may not be as real as it seems to be. his smile is faker than the smile i forced onto my face upon witnessing rey hendrix turn from sumiye's grave, to me.

discomfort
was an understatement.

i didn't make any noise, i did not warn him of my arrival, i didn't step on any branches or leaves, and i can guarantee you that i was not close enough for him to be able to hear my gentle footsteps. he sensed me. he could sense me, he could sense me.

rey hendrix smiled at me. he smiled gently, his surgical mask off and where it was, was a mystery to me. maybe it was off because i've seen it off before and he realized i'm not one to judge someone's appearance, but, i think i prefer him with the mask on. i don't like his face. i really am not one to judge, but with him, i'll judge any and every thing he does or says, or any cell visible on his face. his actions are unforgivable to me in every way, i don't care if he's sorry, he's a monster. monster.
monster. monster, monster. monster.