Held To Ransome

Talk to me

"It's me." She said as she pressed the buzzer, looking around. It had been a while since she'd been here, and nothing much had changed, it seemed. Other than her.

"Come on up." The voice was disembodied but familiar. The buzzer sounded.

Callie pushed the door and walked into the hallway. As familiar as her own home, the offices of Richard Leaver UKCP were small, private, and, above all, safe.

Richard had been a licenced counsellor for almost as many years as he'd been a GP, and now, well into his 60's, there wasn't much he hadn't seen or heard over the years. Callie was no different. Well, no. That wasn't quite true, was it? There was one major difference with Callie. She was the daughter of the man he'd been Best Man to almost forty years ago.  He'd seen her grow, mature, fly the nest, and latterly crash back to earth with a thump.

Normally, friends and family were off limits. Potential conflicts of interest. He'd made an exception for Callie. Her spectacular breakdown had almost destroyed her. At the request of her family, he'd been the one to pick up the pieces and help her glue them back together. So far, the glue had, more or less, worked. 

They'd not spoken since she'd moved, and Richard had felt a little relieved if he was honest.  Seeing her like that had tested his resolve to the max. He just wanted to scoop her up, buy her an ice cream, and tell her everything was going to be ok. Just like the five year old, he still had vivid memories of.

"Callie!" He opened the door and hugged her."Come on through.  Ashley is out, so it's just you and me."

Ashley was his partner in the firm. A nice woman, she was almost ages with Callie, just a couple of years older.  Although she liked her very much, Callie was glad that it was just her and Richard. They'd dispensed with the customary "Uncle" when she'd grown taller than him. Probably around 12 years of age ! 

Richard's office was as familiar as always. The blinds diffusing the daylight, the gentle air of calm. The furniture, worn but comfortable, the familiar smell of leather and flowers. It was something Richard had always insisted on. Even as a young girl, she remembered Richard and Grace's hiuse being filled with the smell of flowers. Freesia in the spring, roses in the summer.  Hyacinths in the winter, sitting their little glass baths.

"Sit down, you know the drill. No talking for two minutes, just to focus.  Avoid the noise and chatter of our minds getting reaquainted."  He sat back in his low chair that crouched next to the ubiquitous couch all his clients seemed to relish. 

Leaning back, he rested his chin on his steepled hands.  One or two had liked it a little too much.  It wasn't the first time he'd had a client fall asleep on him as he soothed their frazzled mind.

Callie did as she was told, the enforced silence making her think before she spoke.

"Ok, time's up. Say the first thing that comes into your mind."

"Waste of space."

Even she was surprised. She looked over at Richard, her pained eyes revealing everything to him.

Richard sat up a little, crossing his legs and leaning his chin on his hand as he watched her.  Yep, she was distracted, upset, and... scared. Something or someone had scared her.

"You or this?"

"Both?" She sounded sad. Profoundly sad. "I thought I was getting somewhere, and then, just as I was beginning to think there might be hope, I went and did a very foolish thing."

"Care to tell me?"

"I - I let someone in.  Someone I shouldn't have. Someone I can never have as a long-term friend, let alone anything else, and now I'm destroyed all over again. I can feel the gremlins eating my sanity, one nasty little comment at a time.

He went away again, and I fell into a black pit the minute he left.  I couldn't stop myself. I really tried but...I'm scared im losing my mind, Richard. I can't go there again. I just can't." She started to cry, and he passed her a box of tissues. He really wanted to give her a hug, but in therapist mode, they'd agreed it should be a proper doctor/patient type scenario.

"So, what makes you think this man - I'm guessing it's a man - is unattainable?" He ignored the self-destruction for a moment.

"Because... because he's not going to want to put up with me being a bloody emotional rollercoaster, is he?"

"Why do you think that? Have you told him about Stapler Gate?" He smiled gently as she wiped her eyes.

She nodded.

"What did he say?"

"That it was good that I didn't hit my boss with it?"

For a second, they paused , and then both laughed. "So he's got his head screwed on then?  Seems to have the measure of the situation. Does he know how you feel?"

"About his friendship meaning so much? No.  About the fact I'm now falling apart again? No."

"Do you trust his judgement?"

She nodded.

"Don't you think you should let him decide if he wants to be friends with a basket case?"

She looked at Richard as if he had stabbed her. "I'm NOT a basket case!" She retorted almost angrily, sitting up without missing a beat. "I'm just confused. Scared of being vulnerable and confused. That's all..." she trailed off as she realised he'd done it again.

In a few short minutes, the only other person she trusted with her sanity had got her to the crux of the matter.
She broke into a watery smile. "You really are so clever,  Richard.  You see right through me, dont you?"

"Like a pretty pane of glass, my dear, like a pretty pane of glass." He stood up. "Our consultation is at an end."

Callie looked at him, "Really? So soon? I mean, I came all this way..." she sounded scared again."I don't know what to say to him. I need more advice."

"No, what you need is a nice meal out with an old family friend and a night with your surrogate mother, Grace, looking after you.  Come on, let's go pick her up and get a decent meal inside you. You look like a good gust of wind would blow you away."

Now, he held out one of his massive paws and gathered her to him. "Come on, Little C, time to go get smothered."

"Little C? Nobody's called me THAT in a very long time! Now I do feel comforted." She smiled up at him as he held the door open.

"Good.  Now, come on, I want to hear more of this 'friend' and why he's so special."

They walked to his car, arm in arm, like the old days.

"Well, his name is Tom, and he's funny and kind and charming...."

The way her eyes shone and her smile lit up told Richard everything he needed to know.  Tom, whoever he was, had captured more of Callie's affections than perhaps even she was willing to admit.

He just hoped, for both their sakes, it was mutual.