Held To Ransome

Ghosts

Tom drew up at the house and before he was even out of the car, Terry was walking up to him. He got out and greeted his friend with a handshake and a hug. "How you doing?"

"Better than you I think mate?" Terry gave him a hard but friendly stare, "You fancy a pint?"

"Actually," Tom ran a hand through his hair and smiled sheepishly, "that would be great."

"Come on, the girls are talking. We need to make ourselves scarce." The two men walked in companionable silence down to the pub and only once they were seated with a drink did Terry speak.

"You do know it will be ok?" he sipped his pint and looked at Tom, who nodded.  He didn't need to explain.

"Yeah, I know you're right, but I'm scared to believe it. After last time, I just don't want to put her through it. I feel so guilty that it's her life on the line again. Can I really live with that? I really want the baby but if I'm brutally honest? I want her more. I couldn't live if anything happened."

Terry listened and nodded. "Yep. I get it. The guilt is almost worse than anything. After Colin, I felt responsible not only for Colin but for the pain Emily was going through. I felt I had to take it all for her. Protect her." he took another sip. "Thing is Tom, we're not guilty. Neither you nor me, neither Emily nor Callie. Sometimes life is shit. Sometimes life is REALLY shit. But one thing it isn't, is fair. Good people suffer. Perfect - little - people sometimes die." he looked at Tom and his eyes were shining with unshed tears.

"Yes, even now, ten years later, I still feel it like it was yesterday. That will never go, you just have to learn to live with it." he smiled a little and went on. "Relax Tom, relax and live in the moment. What happened, happened. No one could have predicted or prevented it. You and Callie will be every bit the parents you were born to be. You will make mistakes, you will arse things up now and again, but you will find your way. The next few months are amazing and wonderful and terrifying to anyone under normal circumstances, let alone with your history. All you need to remember is Emily and I are here for you, any time, day or night. Even if it's just to tell you to keep going." he smiled and sank the rest of his pint. "But for now? We better get home otherwise you and I won't survive, scared or otherwise!

Callie looked at the photo on she shelf and smiled.  He'd be home soon.  Telling her all about his day, what Luke had said, what they'd organised and what he was planning on doing for the next few weeks.  Filming was back on and he was due to leave at the end of the following week.  He'd be away for 3 months in the north of Alaska.  Far enough into the wild to be believable, but near enough to be able to call her regularly.  And he would be home in time.  He would be here.  Holding her hand. 

Now, as she looked at their wedding photo, she smiled and realised just how far she'd come.  Once upon a time she would have been scared.  Him so far away.  Now?  Now she saw it as an opportunity for her. To get to know his mum and his sisters properly.  They could come and visit, she could go to them. She might even paint the spare room. It had been six months since the wedding and the pair of them had hardly stopped.  It would be nice just to take a breath.

The day itself had been amazing.  Small but perfectly formed.  They'd decided to go for a marquee in the garden of his mum's house.  An intimate dinner afterwards.  Only immediate family - sadly just his,  Emily, Terry, Richard and Grace together with Luke made up the rest of the party.  Richard had given her away and as promised Terry and Emily had been the witnesses.

Her dress had been ivory lace; simple, elegant and set off by a hairpiece commissioned from a friend of Emma's who had her own jewellery business.  They were the new.  The old was a pearl necklace from Diana.  The borrowed were Sarah's pearl drop earrings and the blue?  No one but Tom saw the blue.  Callie smiled as she looked at the photo of the two of them.  It was only when you REALLY studied it, you could see the fire in Tom's eyes.  Fire that had been lit when she whispered to them as they sat side by side and mentioned she had a passion for blue silk underwear.