The Tree Remembers

Lobotomies

Dustin tried to take a swig from the whiskey bottle, and I stopped him before the brown liquor got to his mouth.

"I got my heart broken, I didn't get a lobotomy," I snapped as I leaned back into the couch. He groaned and punched the air.

"If I have to listen to you cry about a girl, I should be allowed to be inebriated for it," he retorted. I smiled in spite of the knot in my chest and took a sip from the bottle.

It had been days since I had seen Elle. Days since she had looked at me like I was that asshole from high school. And it broke my heart that she would look at me with such distrust – I had done everything I could to have built her trust. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get rid of the memory of her face.

"Why are you this broken up about it? Can't you just go talk to her?" Dustin asked. I kept my eyes shut and shook my head.

"That won't fix it this time," I said quietly. "She doesn't trust me."

"Why?"

I opened my eyes and rolled my head at him, smiling sadly.

"Because I used to be an asshole. You need to promise that you're never going to be like me," I insisted. He made a pained face and I caught myself. "At least, in certain things."

He smiled brightly – it gave me a sense of pride that he looked up to me. I ruffled his hair and sighed.

"I have no idea what I'm going to do," I said sadly. Dustin leaned back with me.

"Why do you like her so much?" Dustin asked, sounding genuinely curious. I grinned.

"She's way too smart for me. And she's funny. And mean as a snake," I said. Dustin snorted and I looked at him.

"I can't believe she tolerated you for as long as she did," he quipped. I smiled and nodded, agreeing with him.

"I know," I replied. I took another swig, feeling the effects of the booze I had been drinking all afternoon. "I even liked her in high school. Before she was all sharp and mean."

"Really? I thought you were just kind of stringing her along back then," Dustin admitted.

"No, man," I said, shaking my head. "I just thought I was cooler than her and got butthurt when she kind of rejected me."

"You probably deserved it," Dustin joked. I laughed and nodded.

"I totally did. God, I was into her though. I even wrote songs about her, like the dork I was," I continued. Dustin raised his brows.

"You're joking."

"No, man," I insisted. I laughed. "Such lame songs. Wait here."

I hopped up and stumbled back to my room, dropping to the floor. I reached under the bed and pulled out a box full of my notebooks. I grabbed five and ran back to the living room. I dropped them in Dustin's lap, and he started laughing.

"Holy shit, are all of these about her?"

"No, no, no," I started. I picked the one up with a purple cover and doodles I had carved into it. I flipped through it and settled on one – "See You in the Hall." I handed it to Dustin and pointed to the words. He read it and started laughing.

"Dude."

"I know."

"Dude, this is so bad," he howled. I was too sad to even be embarrassed. He pointed at the lyrics. "This says 'Ellie'!"

"That's what she went by in high school," I explained. I ran a hand through my hair, remembering how proud I had been of that song, and how I wanted to show her. Thank God I hadn't – I would have never come back from that.

"God, you had it bad for her," Dustin said, handing me my notebooks back. I stacked them in my hand.

"Still do, kid," I replied. I stood and took the notebooks back to the room, dropped the four journals into the box. I trudged back into the room and plopped back onto the couch.

"I wish you hadn't been such an asshole so you could send flowers," Dustin teased. I grinned.

"Me too," I said. I sighed. "I'm bad at this stuff."

"What do you mean?"

I shrugged and took another swig.

"I'm really bad at fixing this stuff. Like with you," I started. Dustin cocked his head to the side.

"You fixed it with me," he replied. I shook my head.

"Elle did the heavy lifting," I insisted. "She's the reason you would even bother talking to me. And she told me what to say."

Dustin watched me for a beat and nodded his head.

"You are kind of a dumbass," he finally said. I laughed and nodded.

"Fair enough," I said. I sighed. "I really like her, man."

Dustin patted my shoulder and stood, pulling his backpack on.

"You'll figure it out, dude. She likes you, too," he assured me. He made a face at me. "Make sure you shower soon, though, because you reek."

I rolled my eyes as he crossed to the front door.

"Thanks for cheering me up," I called back, grateful to have my little buddy back. He saluted me and walked out, leaving me alone with my thoughts and heartache.

---

"Oh, my sweet, mopey girl," Nick sighed as he draped himself over me. I leaned my head into his as I dried glasses.

"I'm trying not to be," I whined. He squeezed my shoulders and kissed my cheek. I turned to him, pint glass in my hand as I dried it. "I've never been this sad after a breakup. And this wasn't even a breakup!"

He raised an eyebrow, and I felt a wave of annoyance.

"Don't," I ordered. Nick shrugged.

"There's a reason why you're this mopey. That's all I'm going to say," he replied, shaking his head.

I looked down. He wasn't wrong. Which made me even more annoyed. Nick looked over at the front door and furrowed his brows.

"Hello! We don't serve tiny humans," he called out with a sense of authority. I looked at him, confused, before I glanced over. My face split into a grin in spite of my mood.

"Hey, Dustin," I greeted as he walked over to the bar. He smiled brightly and waved as he gripped onto his backpack.

"Hi, Elle. How are you?" he asked. Nick scoffed.

"She's miserable," Nick answered for me. I smacked his chest and smiled at Dustin.

"I'm okay. How are you?" I replied. Dusting shrugged and sat at the counter.

"Can I get a whiskey?" he asked, his expression becoming coy. I raised an eyebrow.

"Do I look like I just got a lobotomy?" I retorted. This made Dustin double-over with laughter and I grinned. "What are you doing here?"

He smirked at me and set his backpack on the counter, rifling through it. He finally pulled something out and looked back up at me.

"So, remember how you came to talk to me for Eddie? Because you knew he had changed and missed me?"

I felt my throat close up at Eddie's name. God, I was such a wimp now. I coughed and tried to smile.

"Um, yeah, I do," I answered weakly. He beamed and took in a deep breath.

"Well, I'm here because I think that you should trust Eddie," he replied cryptically, handing me a purple notebook with doodles of dragons all over the cover.