The Tree Remembers

Rhyming

I felt like I was holding ancient manuscripts with how gingerly I was handling the pages, and my face hurt from how much I was smiling as I went through Eddie's notebook.

"He's probably going to skin me alive," Dustin admitted. I glanced up from the journal over my desk and smiled.

"So, why did you take it?" I asked. I looked back down at the pages of Eddie's thoughts, unable to pull myself away from his scrawl. I smiled at one of the notes in the headers – "If you're born deaf, what language do you think in?" – and traced the drawing of an eye next to it.

"I don't know – he's been such a wuss about you," he said, leaning back in the other chair in my office.

"He's always a wuss," I retorted back to Dustin. I looked up and smiled at him and he laughed again.

"Very true. He's particularly broken up, though," he replied.

"Sure," I replied, somewhat unbelieving of what Dustin said.

On the next page, there was a large drawing of a horse, which wasn't terrible, who was being ridden by a human, which was terrible. I assumed it was Eddie, based on the hair. My smile grew. Back when I thought he was a god, he was actually such a dweeb that wanted to be a knight riding a horse.

"He won't even play his guitar, Elle," Dustin continued, trying to convince me. I let out a laugh and turned the page. My heart caught at the note in the margin on the next page:

What rhymes with Ellie?

Jelly

Telly

Deli

Friendly

Especially

Happily

Heavenly

Perfectly

So many good words rhyme with her name.

I hate that people rhyme her name with smelly.

I beamed at that note. It seemed that the version of Eddie that I had come to know now was always locked up inside. Even when he was an asshole, my Eddie was in there.

"He is really cut up about all of this," Dustin quipped. He leaned forward. "Please tell me you got to the song he wrote about you."

My eyes widened and my smile grew.

"He wrote a song about me?" I croaked. I felt silly, like a schoolgirl with a crush, but I couldn't help it.

Dustin smiled and nodded, holding his hand out. I handed him the notebook and he started flipping through the pages until he got to the right one. He handed it back to me and I skimmed it. I couldn't help but smile.

"See You in the Hall," I read aloud. I started laughing as I read it. "This is..."

"Fucking terrible," Dustin laughed, making me laugh with him.

We both were doubled over, wrought with giggles. I took a deep breath and sighed, finally calming down. Dustin finished giggling and ran a hand through his hair. I studied him for a beat – it was so crazy how much he had grown up. He smiled at me.

"Look, I can't speak for everything that went down between you guys," Dustin started, leaning forward and setting his forearms on his knees. "But I will tell you, I have gone over there for the last four days, and he has refused to shower, and is only drinking whiskey."

"Sounds typical for him," I joked quietly, leafing through the pages. I glanced up at Dustin. "Is...is he okay?"

"Hell no, Elle!" Dustin exclaimed. "He's miserable. And all he does is talk about you, and how great you are, and how much he misses you."

I flushed and looked down.

"Sounds like you're pretty miserable, too," he said knowingly. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll get over it," I lied. Dustin shrugged.

"Why would you want to get over it? He's liked you for a while. And you seem to like him."

I watched him, all of my insecurities crashing down around me. But then I looked at the journal. Proof that my Eddie was always there. He might have been an asshole, but he wasn't as evil as I once thought. I ran my finger over the list of words that rhymed with my name.

"Thank you, Dustin," I said, smiling brightly at him. "I appreciate you coming by,"

"What?" he whined. "I don't even get to know what you're going to do?"

"God, you're worse than Eddie," I scoffed, standing to walk him out. He groaned. We continued to walk out of the bar, and I smiled at him. "You're a good kid."

Dustin smiled and shrugged at me.

"Learned from the best," he replied. My grin grew, and I knew he was talking about Eddie. I was surprised by a hug from Dustin but hugged him back. He dropped me and walked away, waving at me cheerfully.

I went back to my office and gathered my bag and jacket, pulling it on as I locked the room up. I went to the bar, smiling brightly and Nick and Grant.

"Grant – I need to leave."

"You'd have me lose both you and Eddie for the night?" he squawked. I rolled my eyes.

"Grant, its Tuesday – no one is here!" I retorted. Nick was grinning wildly.

"Are you done being mopey?" Nick asked excitedly. I flushed and shrugged.

"We'll see."

"Oh, my gosh, Grant! You have to let her leave!" Nick insisted, fussing at him. Grant frowned and looked back at me.

"Will you be in a better mood if I do let you go?" he asked. I smiled tightly and nodded.

"I think so."

Grant watched me and sighed heavily.

"Alright – you can go," he conceded. 

Nick squealed with excitement, and I practically skipped out of the bar, trying to figure out what I was going to say to Eddie. I piled into my car, drumming along to the INXS album I had in the radio. I felt dread creep up – I had no idea what I was going to say.

How was Eddie so good at finding the words to say? How was he able to share so easily? I felt tears prick my eyes as my terror grew. I was so bad at sharing. Would Eddie even want to talk to me again? I had left him so upset.

I pulled over and slowed to a stop, taking a deep breath. Was I going to be able to do this? I should just turn back. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.

"What words rhyme with 'Ellie'?" I said to myself. I cycled through the words he wrote. "Jelly. Telly. Deli."

I sighed and opened my eyes. I needed to be brave.