A Dying Legacy

Chapter 18

I woke up the next morning feeling... I don't really know what I was feeling. I wasn't depressed, but- 

"Somber? Melancholy?" Lula sounded the way I felt.

"All of the above."

We always started out a little down and out as we woke up and remembered another Birthday had come and he wasn't here to celebrate together.

"He would have been 48 today." I sighed as I rolled over and stared at the popcorn spackled ceiling. "Could you imagine, Papà with gray in his hair?"

"I bet you he'd look just like Mr. Sheffield from the Nanny." I knew she was only inside me, but I could feel Lula as if she was lying next to me resting with her side against mine to comfort one another. I could see her picking her head off her paws and resting it on my hip as we spoke.

"You think?" The thought made me laugh. We both let ourselves chuckle for a moment, but it slipped into a sigh. "I miss him."

"Me too"

Lula and I haven't always been so connected. Our history was rocky. You're not supposed to get your wolf until you're a matured teenager- 16 at the earliest. Lula came into my life when I was 11, before I was mentally ready to accept her. For our survival, she knew it was then or never, and she forced her way forward to be there for me... she took care of me when I needed her the most and I'm ashamed to admit, I didn't treat her the way she deserved back then. I didn't accept her and I hurt her in ways that I will forever be sorry for. But now, we were truly one being as human and wolf should be... or at least that's what I thought.

Making breakfast for Barret, I felt like I was just going through the motions. I hadn't shaken myself from the funk  of this day yet. You know when you're in your car leaving point A, and then you zone out so much you don't remember how you got to point B? That was me, arriving outside Barret's door with a tray of biscuits, fried eggs and bacon. I frozen when I reached to knock on his door, my brain coming back to me and realized I needed to get it together. I wasn't trying to gain Barret's attention by breaking down in front of him.

"Or maybe that's exactly what you need to do right now. You want him to love you. Let him see you. Let him be with you today."

"That's easier said than done." I told Lula, feeling my heart race, anxious just at the thought of breaking down here at his door step. My fist shook for a moment as I finally knocked on his door. He didn't respond, but he left his door unlocked for me to come in once I 'announced' myself. I held my breath, not wanting to deal with Vanessa on this morning of all mornings. I went straight for the table around behind his bed, not daring to glance and get a peek of breast poking out of the cover if she was still sleeping. 

"She's not here." Barret's voice startled me so, I almost dropped the tray. He stepped out of the bathroom, still mid buttoning up his navy blue pinstripe shirt. It's dark color really complimented his skin tone.

"Compliments his skin tone? Why don't you just come out and say 'I want to run my hands over his abs before he finishes that last button.'"

"Because now is not the time! I'm not in the mood for things like that right now." I scowled at her.

"Are you okay?" Barret caught on to my inner turmoil, but wasn't really sure what was going on. Since he woke up, he had no idea what was going on. His alarm went off, he opened his eyes and ever since- he's had this unexplainable pit in his gut and he couldn't figure i tout. Did he miss an important business meeting yesterday? Or was he supposed to contact the elders and forgot? Then Cat made breakfast and with every step closer she took to him room, the pit turned to sadness. Now, here she was before him and all he felt was a need to hold her. To cocoon her in his arms until they both felt something more than whatever this was. He didn't realize until now that the Mate bond could be more than just pheromones and sex- "She's hurting." Koba whispered.