Unexpected Destiny

CHAPTER 13- GUILTY. SORRY.

Ek samandar hai jo mere kaabu mein hai,
Aur ek katra hai jo mujhse sambhala nahi jata,
Ek umar hai jo bitani hai uske bagair,
Aur ek lamha hai jo mujhse guzara nahi jata

SHIV

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I fucking hate distractions. I just can't concentrate on my work. I always used work to keep myself busy, to not even think about my shitty life after Aarohi and it fucking worked perfectly. Then why the hell it's not working this time, why the hell I am not able to focus on anything and this has been going on from last three days. Yeah, it's been three days since I shouted at Roohi.

I know I shouldn't have shouted at her and all that I did was a consequence of my rage and anger, but I wasn't feeling myself then. I mean what else can you expect from a person who got to know that her bride got changed at the last moment and that the that person he married wasn't the one he thought of. And when I asked her, why the hell she did that, she fucking said that she can't tell me the reason. I mean seriously what the hell of a game life is playing with me.

I know that's no excuse, and that I definitely did the wrong thing, but lately I have been feeling like things are not in my control, even these shitty things are controlling me, my actions. I am so done, so fed up with everything that I feel suffocated of myself, my doings.

And I am feeling so guilty from last three days because of my actions that from last two hours, sitting in the study of my house, I am trying to concentrate on my work, to just get done with one single file, but guess what, I couldn't.

There is guilt in me for the way I dragged her, shouted at her and yes, made her cry. I knew my words were hurting her, but I just didn't give a fuck then. I just spoke and left from there furiously that I didn't think of the situation properly. And after reaching the office, when I calm down, then my brain started making me feel shitty and remorseful. Then it suggested me that may be all that happened was a misunderstanding.

That maybe she didn't push her, maybe they just collided incidentally and may be what Siddhi felt was wrong. And all these maybe's have higher chances of being true because the tears in her eyes were the proof. And I don't know why her eyes hold so much intensity that even after knowing her for so little time, they make me feel like she can see through me, my soul.

From last three days because of all the guilt, I am coming home early so that I can apologize to her, but nothing is working. It's not like I didn't say sorry to her. I did and she said that it's not necessary then why the hell I am not satisfied from that.

When the very first time I tried saying sorry to her, she didn't even let me complete my apology and asked me to say that to my daughter. And I fucking swear after what she told me, I felt like killing myself.

She told me that my angel thinks that I don't love her anymore. Even thinking about this wants to make me apologize to her on my knees again. I mean Roohi knows my Aashi from last three or four months and still my angel felt comfortable in telling her about what she feels. She didn't come to me because I made her feel like that.

So I did what exactly Roohi asked me to do. I apologized to my angel.

I went after Roohi with the intention of apologizing again. She entered in my room, and I entered after her and was about to ask her to forgive me, and that's when I saw my angel sleeping in my room. Roohi went to her and sat down on the bed and leaned towards my daughter and kissed her on forehead and said

" Wake up my princess, it's too long since you are sleeping" and again kissed her on her cheek.

My angel woke up and looked at her and said