fish diary

entry fifteen - session seven

I need to end this.

I had a night terror, I haven't had one since after my dad left me...

Akal was dying. Right in my arms. He held my face so softly. Evian and Tal did it, I know they did, they were going to do it to me too. I just held Akal.

Then It appeared, monologued about how this would happen if I didn't trust It.

I woke up and Akal was gone.

I ran out to find them, I didn't even button my shirt up-

He was behind me, so I just ran into their arms and held him. I cried.

They must think I'm ridiculous!

I dont think I care. I just need him to be safe.

I will do what it takes to keep him safe.

Anything.

He pulled me back into the room and I cuddled him whilst they fixed their shirt (from when Tal stabbed him). It was probably inconvenient, but he didn't complain.

Is this what love is?

Letting the person you love mildly inconvenience you, not complain and just silently enjoy eachothers company.

I think I'm in love.

Will that put him in more danger?

...

We're heading to the Flower Marsh to find Akal's friend.

And I told Akal about the night terror, he is trying to convince me it's manipulation. I know they're right, it is manipulation, but I am not willing to take thst risk anymore.

I have Akal to protect.

Part of me feels guilty for not missing home as much as I would miss Akal. I should bring Akal there.

He will be safe with me.

But-

No.

He will be safe with me.

...

I heard a noise in the forest.

So I threw my trident at it, hit the thing, then got posioned.

I am fine now (no thanks to Evian, too busy fawning over Onyx).

(That was unfair of me to write, Evian and Onyx are cute. And aren't I doing the same as that? Fawning over Akal...)

We - Evian - killed it and then set up camp by this bridge for the night. It was fine, Evian and Onyx took first watch, Tal took second, then Akal and I took last watch.

I plainly asked Tal and Evian if I could trust them and trust them with a life.

Tal told me maybe. Which is a no. I cannot rely on Tal.

Evian said I could trust them, and I mostly believe them. At the very least they weren't lying.

I'd ask Onyx, but I do trust him.

And, of course, I trust Akal. If I were blind and deaf, I'd let him lead to me to molten lava and walk in willingly.

As we continued walking, I saw the lake and cottage from my dream a little bit ago. Akal thought it was weird I dreamed of this place.

We got in and the house was trapped, it was a mess honestly. We got acid thrown on us, attacked and I accidentally knocked over Akal.

Then he showed up.

Sheun.

I recognise him.

Akal ran to him and hugged him.

I just walked out, its raining. I'm kind of hiding right now.

I feel lightheaded.

I miss home, they'd know what to do.

I hope they got my letter.

- mar sokal