Ever since Sasha was a kid, she's started hating the idea of love. Maybe because she woke up with the sad thought of how her father left her mom for no apparent acceptable reason. She always thought that love had been so scary because one day they're head over heels in love with you, and the next time they start evading you. She's scared about how someone will invite her into their small spaces and she will fall into their trap and make them her world.
"I don't understand why you always have to close your door to people showing interest in you, Sasha," her mom would complain.
"What do you mean, Mom? Why is it that most of my friends' moms restrict their daughters from having boyfriends, and you're here telling me I should give it a try? That's just ironically ridiculous." Sasha smiled while trying to finish folding her pile of clothes.
"Because you're so much better than any of those people I know."
"Just finish your cup of coffee, Mom." Sasha shrugged. "Instead of adding something that does not interest me at all."
"I know you so well and I know that you will never do things that will disappoint me. You always know your right lane and you always bring flying colors. I don't even have any problems with your studies. You need to have fun sometimes, darling."
"It's all fun and games, Mom, not until you wake up from the twisted reality that you are no longer loved. That hurts in the worst way possible. I am just trying to stop myself from pitying the things I will lose. Just an early thinker," she said confidently.
"You hated love because you thought love was nothing but just how your father left me in vain. You only know one out of the thousand faces of love, honey. It's not that bad at all."
"I just want to enjoy my third year in college without having to leave it with a broken heart. Being in my third year in college is no fun at all. Being circulated with worries that will one day dismantle me. But somehow, despite the loads of work that I get to do every single day, I have such a circle of friends who make my everyday routine a full-blast adventure," Sasha responded as an alternative, wishing her mom would just accept it and leave her alone instead.
"I am really happy that you have Hailey and Jenna to cheer you up. They're some of the best people out there, really. You don't deserve them."
"Wow, I am supposed to be your daughter. You should've said they don't deserve a God-sent person like me," Sasha teasingly answered.
"Whatever, just do the dishes, you little ambitious brat. I'm done with my coffee."
"I want steak for dinner, please?" Sasha pleaded with her puppy eyes.
"Of course. I'll make it in a minute, plus I'll make you your favorite mashed potatoes."
"Lucky I am," said Sasha while smiling ear to ear.
Sasha's mom has always been her best friend. She couldn't stand keeping a secret from her. Her mom knows Sasha more than she knows herself. And sometimes, Sasha knows her more than her mom knows herself too.
Sasha knows she still loves her father. Her mother still keeps that wedding photo of them hanging on their living room walls. Her mother still stares at the front door as if someone's going to burst it open and tell her he's home. Sasha could still hear her at night, sobbing so uncontrollably, and despite her trying to make it inaudible, Sasha could feel her pain breaking the night.
She knew nobody could make her happy the same way her father did. Sasha's father left her mom with storms inside her head and nobody else could help her, not even Sasha. And Sasha knew that her mom was trying to pretend that she's strong just to protect her from turning into like her.
YOU ARE READING
In Between Seasons
Lãng mạnThis is a story about a girl named Sasha who constantly lives with the trauma of her past, brought on by her heartless father leaving her when she was twelve. Although she was longing for the absence of her father, she was still overwhelmed by the l...
