In Between Seasons

CHAPTER 6: Crushing Down

"Are we having a meeting for your bridal shower, huh?" Hailey asked.

"You sounded like it was something urgent. Are you pregnant? Don't tell me the wedding will happen tomorrow? I don't know what to wear!" Jenna said out of panic.

"You little brats still have never changed. You're good at exaggeration. I had a problem, and I don't even know what I did wrong."

"You mean, you and Tyler had a problem?" said Hailey.

"You guys were engaged just three months ago. What's the matter?"

"Tyler was texting me with cold words. I kept diagnosing my mistakes so we could talk. But he was so distant and aloof. I started living with him in his apartment every weekday after our engagement. And for three consecutive nights, he went home late and drunk. He didn't want me to ask him questions because it irritated him. He stopped giving me goodnight kisses, and he later became violent. There were nights I cried so hard while sleeping beside him, and he didn't seem to care. He was in his worst state for the next three months."

"What the hell happened to, Tyler? Try to remember. Maybe you just said something wrong or you just dropped too much savagery and you were just insensitive until it hurt him," Hailey said.

"Our fights were raging and I saw myself pleading for him to tell me what was happening. I didn't know what to do because I didn't know what I did wrong. He started to turn into a stranger whose heart started to grow apart from mine. I tried to understand him. I tried to apologize to my lapses and gave him the remedies that I was capable of giving. His changes hurt like dull knives on my wrist, sluggishly cutting me off yet not all at once."

"There must be a reason, Sasha. Maybe he was just too pressured at work," Jenna trying her best to console her grieving friend.

"What if we try to give him a surprise visit?" Hailey allowed her intrusive thoughts to win.

"That sounded like a good idea. Shall we go now, Sasha?"

"I don't know. I am afraid."

"You need peace of mind, sweetie." Jenna made sure her words were clear. "And you need to go and figure it out by yourself. We trust Tyler, and there's nothing he will do to break your trust as well as ours."

They were in front of Tyler's workplace.

"Hi. We just want to ask if your manager, Tyler is around," asked Jenna.

"I'll check his secretary, Ma'am. Wait a second," said the receptionist as he started dialing, calling, and ending the telephone call. "He's having a coffee at Luna Café. It's just one block away, Ma'am."

They found themselves close to Luna Café.

"Maybe he's with his bachelors. Let's grab a table for us and we'll just call him to join us if he'll come to our sight," Jenna said.

They settled on the table, both excited to prove that Sasha was just trying to feed herself with negativity.

"Is that..." Hailey froze and flabbergasted.

"Oh, Sasha. Please, don't lean. Sasha. That's just..."

The Luna Café was located between the hotel and the public park. The exterior was transparent glass so that the surroundings were perceptible. Sasha saw Tyler with another woman, walking hand in hand in the park. Sasha was frozen with anger, and her fist was hardened. Her heart was filled with so much loathing that she didn't know what to do. All the tears were automatically cascading down her cheeks in the first few seconds when she saw Tyler with someone else.

The woman in front of him was pretty sophisticated, with womanly gestures. Sasha recognized the woman to be Tyler's officemate. Sasha took a stand and started walking without minding whom she might bump into on her way. Hailey and Jenna were furious about what they saw, but they couldn't even take hold of Sasha's hand. Sasha was so strong, outraged and burning red, and she went to where Tyler and his other woman were standing. She crossed the street without precautions and the cars were beeping madly at her.

And she stood there in front of them. Tyler and the other woman were flabbergasted. Sasha was a mess and completely shut off from her proper thinking. She slapped Tyler right in the face while crying so hard, and Tyler was lost in his words. He didn't stop Sasha from slapping him continuously, and that's when Sasha knew that Tyler was truly unfaithful. Hailey and Jenna gave darting looks towards Tyler as they took Sasha's hand and carried her away.

Tyler never went home after the revelation. He went home drunk the next day, while he saw Sasha sulking on the floor, unbathed and miserable.

"Sasha, get up. We need to talk," he said.

"Don't you dare hold me with your dirty hands. Don't you dare hold me when you're holding another girl behind my back."

"Don't start with me, Sasha. I am tired of work."

"You are not tired from work, Tyler. You're tired of pretending to be in love with me. You are tired of lying. You are tired of sleeping with two different bodies! You are tired of saying I love you in front of two different faces! Tyler, we saw you there. I saw you with my two eyes." She started crying hysterically. "I saw you smiling while holding her hand in the park. That laughter has the same resemblance as when both of us were starting to build our relationship. Tyler, you were glowing, which was different from the way you were facing me when you went home. It was like you were facing me like I was just a problem and I regret it. I never expected something that I never saw coming. You were there, reaching for the hand of someone at the top of the table. You were with another woman while I was left here, waiting for you to come home."

Tyler was silent. He was silent, and it gave her a slap to know that he never tried to save himself. There was no alibi. There was no self-defense. There was no it's-not-what-you-meant sentence. There was nothing that came to his defense. Nothing. And that hurts her more.

After a couple of minutes, he felt the need to respond. "I am sorry. I tried to stop entertaining my feelings for her, but I couldn't help it. She's making me happy."

"How about me? I am trying my best to make you happy. Can't you see how hard I try to fill your gaps? You promised me! I gave you so many years! I trusted you! I love you. Why do you have to do this?"

"I am sorry, Sasha. I am. I spent so many years believing in us. I thought you were the person that I needed, but I was wrong. I was wrong all along. I am so sorry."

"How long?" she asked, serving him the bullets to shoot her.

"We've been together for half a year."

"Before the proposal?"

"I'm sorry. I thought it was something that would make me change my mind about her and would make me want to love you more. But it was a mistake."

"How about me? What am I going to do? You're my life, Tyler. You know that. I always remind you of that."

"I did love you too. But love is hard to sustain. Please, let me go."

"Let you go? After giving you everything and giving you my best shots, you're going to ask me to just let you go? Do you think that's as easy as putting you out of my life and starting again? I gave you everything! You promised me! Why do you have to be this cruel to me? What were the things that she gave you that you never found in me?! I gave you everything, Tyler. And I never asked for anything other than your loyalty."

"I said I am sorry. I just wanted to be happy at least once. And she was there with me. She understood me on the days when I grew tired of understanding your anxieties. She had me and she gave me the promises that you never promised me. She did things that you were terribly afraid to do. She gave me a roller-coaster feeling and you were just a single place and both of us are now predictable. She made me feel like I was loved without constantly assuring me if I loved her too. She was there with me to make me happy when your sadness was overtaking me. Loving you ruined me, Sasha, and she was there to build me up again. I did try to love you, but you loved me like you're still afraid. You're still holding me back from your past, and we can't make it into the future. I am sorry."

"How about me, Tyler? What am I going to do?"

"You love me. I know you did. I loved you too. I did. And that's the problem. I changed Sasha and my changes don't want you to be there anymore."