Learning To Love

Love is Stupid

"I give up." I looked down.

"O-on me?" she asked upset.

"I give up on trying to look like I don't have feelings for you."

A smile grew on her face, she was so beautiful. all I did was smile back, so I cupped her cheeks and softly kissed her light red lips.

"I love you, Peter Pan." she smiled and placed her hands on my hands.

"I love you, my queen." I smiled.

She blushed. Honestly, I loved when she did that. It was so cute, I just could not deny.

"So... what are you going to do now?" she asked.

And honestly, I had no idea, I was afraid of the lost boys stop being afraid of me, and if they did, they wouldn't respect me anymore and I definitely would lost my power and my misery would totally grow and what about all the things I achieved being bad, would they go away? or maybe I could get even more things being good.

the boys kinda knew me and if I turned good, they would still know my power and maybe they could be smart enough to know that I could still kill them if they did anything stupid. I would turn good, but not that good.

"now... well.." I hugged her tightly and lifted her up "now, I guess I'll cuddle up with you!" I said and she let out of her mouth a light giggle. "do you do that in London? well I bet not!" I said.

"yeah, Peter, we do" she laughed.

I laid on my bed and gave her space to lay beside me "can you tell me a story?" I asked gently grabbing her hand.

she smiled and started "well, once upon a time... there was this little girl who used to wear a red hood her grandma gave her, it was beautiful with small gold buttons, since that, people around her village started to call her the little red riding hood.One day she got the new her grandmother got sick and sadly she decided to visit the poor woman. Her mom, then, gave her bread and whine so she cold give the lady some as she lived in the middle of the woods...." I didn't pay attention at the story at all. All I could pay attention at was her soft and attractive British accent.

So the story ended and even though it didn't seem late I was sleepy, I didn't was to get out of that cozy and comfortable bed. 

she slowly stood up, I really wanted her to stay but I couldn't move. My body was lazy and my mind was full of concerned thoughts about my powerful social life. "You need to eat something, all you ate today were some fruits." she said.

"I'm not very hungry." I sighed.

She then turned to lay back beside me and this time she laid her head on my chest. "Are you okay?" she asked snuggling her head on my chest.

I chuckled softly "why are you asking that? Do I eat that much?" 

She giggled and sat up "no, it's just that.. you should really eat.."

"What a good excuse" I laughed mockingly.

She slightly frowned and my smile suddenly turned to nothing but a frown as I looked at her. "s-sorry"

"It wasn't funny at all..." she said "have you ever heard about anorexia?"

I laughed "what's that?"

"Anorexia is when you stop eating because you think you are fat, or your life sucks and maybe you want to die, I don't know. All I know is that people usually start having that when the basically stop eating."

"First of all, I don't want to die, I won't die, I'm powerful enough, secondly, it was just one meal, why are we even talking about those depressed girls. Do you even think I have enough feelings to be depressed or even just sad? I don't okay?" though I kept talking I could repair her disappointment face as I said I was powerful enough or when I said I didn't have feelings, okay, I just couldn't stop saying those things and hated to let her down.

"okay, I won't say I didn't try... I honestly am falling for you I just don't know if you realized that but you should have some consideration at least. I am trying to take care of you, I am trying to make you have feelings, I don't know, but every time I feel I am doing great, you come back with you power stuff and I feel like I failed again, like I felt my  whole life. And now I am just a stupid girl trying to talk about her feelings with a guy who doesn't even know what that means." She said the whole speech without even taking a break at all and in that moment my heart fell into pieces. It literally just broke and I realized I was trying to deny everything, not to myself but to her.

I needed to do something. But you know when in your mind you just imagine the whole situation but when you are going to act it for real, everything just stays in there and you freeze? "W-what do you want to do, then?" WOW! I'M AN IDIOT! Why did I even say that?! I was supposed to hold her in my arms and say I was in love with her.

"I want to go home" her eyes suddenly teared up. 

"Wendy... don't do this.. I will give you every thing you need just don't leave me"

"don't do this?!" she cried "just take me home! I want to go home!" 

I sat down and covered my face. How difficult decisions I had. I had to make her stay, that was the point. that's why I brought her to Neverland but I loved her and when the person you love is done, you just need to let her go. "Is that really what you want?"

"Yes! Just take me home." she said wiping the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

I walked up to her and wiped the rest of the tears falling. "if you want to go home, I'll take you home, okay?" I gently kissed her cheek. My young 14 year old love was leaving me and I could not let that happen, the worst part is that she was going to grow up and soon have her children with someone else and then get grandchildren. I never wanted that to happen, that's why my story.

In not so long I flew her to London. Saw where she lived. Houses, all the same color, side by side. people inside her house looking blank, no happiness in their eyes, maybe just the fact she was not there with them. Her brothers where teenagers, as expected, older than her and there was Baelfire looking big, maybe 17 years old. Did her family really let him lie there? I didn't see the scene of her meeting her family but I wish I could. They would be so happy to see her again and at the end, as usual, I would be the villain in the story.

I came back to my house in my land. Now I knew. I was the evil Peter, I would always be. It was a part of me, and as long as I tried it was my ending, it was who I was supposed to be someway. And I knew, love was something stupid, really stupid.

I felt suddenly tears coming down. I laid down and started crying for the first time in my life. It was hard to sleep without her by my side.