𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ∽ 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬

𝘊𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘕𝘐𝘕𝘌

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▏ INVISIBLE STRING ▕
➫ ———— act one. gold rush
CHAPTER NINE ─── wither in the safe shade
to listen to ➺ house with no mirrors by sasha sloan

mother. eat me and give birth to me again. this time around i'll make you proud.

— maia baia, mother

Warning: Body dysmorphia, body shaming from a parent, and depictions of a panic attack during the first half of the chapter. If any of that is triggering, please skip ahead to the section separator (the sun). Remember there is no right or wrong way to look. However you look is valid and beautiful. Be gentle to yourself.

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OVER THE COURSE OF HER LIFE, JOSIE HAD LEARNED THAT THERE WAS A FINE LINE BETWEEN THE FEELINGS OF HATRED AND DISLIKE. Humanity had learned to use the words interchangeably, using them whenever it felt like the right thing to do. She was guilty of doing the same thing—claiming to hate something from that first instinctual negative emotion.

But the honest fact is, there is a great difference between hating something so much you cannot breathe and disliking something that doesn't fit your perspective.

The intensity of hatred is like a fire racing through one's veins. The morality of hatred burns bright like that same fire, hence the belief that hatred is irreparable. Hatred fills a person's life, so much so that they cannot focus on anything else except the reddening world around them.

Then, you have dislike. Dislike is an opinion—a point of view where something does not fit in with what is preferred. Dislike has the ability to form and deform, depending on how a person grows over time.

They both have a beautiful sense of mortality; everyone experiences both hatred and dislike. But where hatred is hopeless in purpose, dislike is hopeful.

There were only a few things in life that Josephine Grey felt true hatred for.

She hated heights—that was a given. She hated the sound of her friends' sadness. She hated the look her mother had right before she criticized Josie. She hated the nickname Topper Thornton gave her when she was nine. She hated hurting others. She hated Luke Maybank.

On the contraire, there were many things Josie disliked. She was only human, after all.

From how the color orange looked on her to the noises cicadas made in the dead of night. From the texture of a gummy bear to most of the men on The Bachelorette. She couldn't stand it when John B chewed with his mouth open or when Naomi turned the channel to watch a horror movie. Josie had her opinions and preferences, and yet, she still loved John B and Naomi despite their habits. She still watched the Bachelorette, and she still sat outside with the cicadas.