Scarlet's Mate

Part Twenty Eight

~Trigger Warning~
-this chapter has descriptive scenes of self harm-

He sighed, "I guess that's all I can ask for," he turns off the car and for a moment we sit in silence until he continues, "I think it might be best if we also keep what happened down there, to you and to your grandmother, to ourselves. Your grandmother was a staple to this community and her death would create unnecessary questions."

My heart drops, "you want me to pretend my grandma isn't dead?"

Mr.Adam's expression softens, "I'm sorry but she would understand. I'm not the only one who had eyes on you. This is to keep you safe."

I look away, not wanting him to see the tears threatening to fall, "what would I even say, if people start asking me where she is?"

"Say she's out of town," he sighs, "I really am sorry about your grandmother Scarlet."

I force my mouth closed, not trusting what might come out of it if it were open. I stay still as I listen to Mr.Adams open and close his door. A few moments later my door is opened, I refuse to look up at him as I slowly step out of his car. I stay a few paces behind as we walk towards the house.

"Derek's out searching right now, I texted him a false lead when I found you. Figured you'd need some time alone for a bit," he pushes open the door and gestures for me to go in. I hesitantly step past him and head for the stairs. I mindlessly make my way to the room i'm staying in and close the door behind me.

I rummage through all the drawers until I find a pair of sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. Both are labeled with the same college, one I haven't even heard of. Once I'm in the bathroom I lock the door behind me and face the mirror. My eyes were black and blue, and I had some shallow cuts along my face. My hair is a rat's nest atop my head and my clothes had more holes than I had originally thought was possible.

Sighing, I drop my new outfit on the counter and make my way towards the shower. I turn on the water, mixing the warm and cold settings until it is the perfect temperature, and strip my clothes. I step into the shower, letting the water drench me. I feel the wall I put up start to crumble as the water pours over my body.

My grandma is dead, and it's all my fault. The air leaves my lungs and I slowly fall to my knees. The pain feels like a rock has been placed on me, keeping me pinned to the ground. I roll onto my side and my knees curl towards my chest. I can't stop picturing my grandma's eyes. I used to see myself in them, but I now know that's impossible. We weren't related.

Everything really was a lie. And the worst part is they never knew. They died because of me. And they'll never know that I wasn't the person they thought I was. I'm not the person I thought I was. I'm a stranger living someone else's life. That someone is still out there, and because of me, their family is dead. Tears start flowing down my face as I imagine their lives if they had never had me. Their kid would've shifted, they wouldn't have been searching for the answers which caused their death. They'd all be alive and happy together. But instead they got me.

I need to push this away, I need this pain to end. I slowly push myself off the floor of the shower. A loud bang makes me flinch causing my hand to smack the wall. The pain distracts me as I cradle my hand to my chest, I look down and realize I had knocked a bottle of shampoo off the ledge. I can't help but laugh at my reaction.

Then it hits me, I can distract myself. The pain can distract me. As if I had flipped a switch, all my thoughts disappeared as I focused on the solution at hand. I turn off the water and step out of the shower. I grab the towel and quickly dry myself off before throwing on the clothes I left on the counter.