The Forgotten Star

7. The Blessing Bend

At 4 a.m. in between clouds, I flew with my friend Siva chasing the sun to view the sunrise. before 4.30 a.m. we both are outside Chennai and flying towards one of my safe houses. I explained to my friend very briefly about my past, what I did this past week, and what kind of mess I made last night for nearly half of my ride. He was shocked would be an understatement. 

"I can't believe you the the mischievous brat who ruled the kids but was always "the perfect cute daughter" in all the parent's eyes. God, how did you do that? At all kinds of parties, race tracks, camping, or any large-scale prank you were one of the VIP members. In front of their parents you are the picture-perfect Indian girl who is studious and spends most of her spare time practicing classical dances and music for stage performances, plan your weekends by visiting different temples all around India.

But in between the kid's circle, you were traveling to different places around India for music fests, At all the parties you are the best DJ, you literally become the "queen of the dance floor". Like you are the polar opposite in front of elders and kids how did you do it?" He questioned me. 

I just smiled and replied, "It's a secret". he got annoyed and became silent for the rest of the ride. In no time we reached the safe house "The Blessing Bend", in this house I got the greatest blessing of life but this house also saw all my happiness and fears. 

Once I got down from the chopper, I was at a loss for a moment. Because I didn't know what to believe. I escaped from him, I know I can pull this off. But I don't feel happy about it now at this moment when I'm standing here again. Because I came to the to hide in this place again.

I built a grand farmhouse to spend my future with him here just us. I got the whole hilltop on the outskirts of the city and built this space with everything we need and want to live in as our own wonderland. A self-sufficient, off-grid Smart house. I don't want to depend on the government for anything here. The food is mostly grown here in greenhouses, gardens, and fruit orchards on the hilltop. Water for the whole area is reserved through rainwater harvesting and in case of necessity ground water is more than sufficient. Electricity is generated through solar panels and most of the appliances in the house are self-charged through solar power. The waste generated within the house will be decomposed, turned into manure, or recycled inside the property itself.

This house also has all the luxury amenities in itself like. A swimming pool, jacuzzi, a small artificial waterfall, Tennis court, basketball court, golf area, helipad, dirt track, and many more were added over the period of time. What I'm very proud of myself is a state-of-the-art library where people will love to spend their time inside the place just studying. I wanted this house. To have everything in it just so that we will never think about stepping outside when we come to this place for weekends.

When I was making this place into reality I put in my dreams and all my hard work and earnings over 6 years. it was supposed to be a surprise to him. I was planning to gift this house to him as our wedding surprise but I didn't imagine I would run away from him to come and hide in this place for a year when I ran away from the same wedding with him. I also came running to the same house again after nearly 4 years when I came back to India. I knew he would find me but I didn't think he would find me within a couple of hours. Since I didn't expect him this soon and I didn't have time to sort out the personal problems for which I came back to India I needed to run away from him like a coward.

It doesn't mean I'm afraid of meeting him. I just don't want to see him right now and remember how foolish I was before. Just to impress, just to make him love me, just for him to accept me proudly in front of his family and social circle. I didn't think about myself, my life, my career, my wishes, anything. I was running behind him like a puppy all the time, and I was making him succeed in his personal life, and in his career. I was making his family appreciate him. I was making him get back to his family, to his roots. But I totally forgot about myself.

I don't want to face my past, I'm afraid to. Look back into my past and see my mistakes. I have still not come to terms that I made this kind of stupid mistake and wasted my youth just for the sake of love and a happy married life. I can't believe I lost my individuality and identity over that period of time because I was chasing him around everywhere.

I spent nearly six years dreaming about this place, designing it, and then starting earning for it. To make this dream into reality, I took on lots of freelancing job art projects. And shuffled into different kinds of jobs.Like freelancing my art world, selling my photography, and becoming a paid writer online, and many more. Oh, and spending all the money I earned on this house and using the rest into investments in various stocks and shares to multiply the money just so that I can make this house as soon as possible. From the moment I started to have a crush on him, I started to earn to make my own house so that I wouldn't feel bad to be with him in my place. once the marriage talk started I felt the difference in social status, and I felt happy that I made this safe heaven for us where I could spend time with him. In this place, it is just me and him, no influence of his family or mine, no social status, no comparison who contributed a lot for making this place, it is just me and him without any care in the world just like how we used to be in high school.

All my free time and all my efforts into this place from 11th grade. But now this house which should have been become a sanctuary for our love become a safe house, which  I use as a medium to hide myself from him. I should feel happy that I made this while I was at his side all the time, yet he has no clue about this. Or should I hate me for being naive and putting myself and my family, through all this, just because I thought he loved me?

I noticed that my friend was standing with my head secretary Aleena to get down from the chopper. I tried to show that I was strong and I was not affected to come back to this place, but my friend saw through me, she saw through my mask and came forward to hug me first and brought me inside the house. Once we were settled down at the dining table with a huge breakfast spread in front of us everyone started to eat silently.

No one was disturbing me thinking I needed some time and space to mentally compose myself after having a fright the whole night. They are not wrong but I don't want to break down too. I don't want to become weak and helpless Nilani anymore. I'm Amara now and I have many people's livelihood depending on me. I'm not going to become a coward just because I saw the devil of my past and got a scare.

I quickly composed myself and informed Aleena to clear my schedule for the day. After breakfast I had a short business meeting with Siva he introduced me to a new client who needed a unique indo-western Uniform for their staff within 2 weeks. It's a great challenge to design and complete the product on a large scale when we are not into adult clothing yet in India but I need this challenge and opportunity right now to become stronger and not break down.

After the meeting, Siva left the farmhouse in his chopper and I noticed it was already 9 a.m. I desperately needed some sleep but I couldn't leave just like that, so I had a short meeting with my design department online and delegated some tasks. Updated my friends about my well-being, informed Aleena to clear my schedule for the next 5 hours, asked her to handle congratulations messages for the Award ceremony, and retired to sleep after a long eventful day.