~ Shipper's Pain ~ Book 2 ~

Chapter 20 ~ Realization

Bright POV:

All I can think of is asking in my mind what the hell just happened. I want words to come out of my mouth; I want both to stay, but instead, nothing comes out, and both have left.

What should have been an amazing night with what I now gather should have possibly been with my 2 boyfriends, 1 of which is the love of my life, is instead me sitting in the living room alone contemplating life.

I ask myself if I want to let them go. Do I really love them both? Do I only love Win? I question and question myself until an hour passes by. I look at the time and realize I am deeply in love with both. No, I can't let them go, I can't let this really happen, and I need to get them back. I need to ask for forgiveness for not expressing it correctly and being more honest about it.

I have to fix this quickly before losing both of them for good. I need to tell them I love them both and that I will change my work schedule to spend more time together. I will also need to beg forgiveness from both and beg Gulf to move in.

I need to change. I love them both so much.

Now that I woke the fuck up and realized what I needed to do, I went to the spare room, but Win locked the door.

I knock, panicking on the door, trying to get him to answer. I finally speak up, asking Win to please answer in the most begging tone possible.

I am on my knees in front of the spare door, knowing Win is disappointed in me since we had decided a year ago to be with Gulf, and he finally gives in to us, and I fuck it all up before I can turn my head.

Win finally answers the door, and you can tell somehow he fell asleep and just woke up, but I can see the puffy eyes on his face that he had been crying to.

He asks what I want and says that he needs sleep.

I crawl up to him on my knees, hugging his legs, begging him, that I love him and don't want to lose him, that I made a huge mistake and won't ever do it again.

He asks me if I love Gulf too, and I say yes, I am just scared to lose Win and that I am not used to loving multiple people.

He then looks down at me since I have my face buried in his feet, hugging his legs, not able to look at him because of my shame.

Win then tells me that he feels the same as I do towards Gulf, which is why my reaction to them making out hurt him. He also admitted that he was hurt that I didn't trust him more and instead questioned things so much.

I told him I couldn't say sorry enough and that there was no excuse for it but that I should have known what was happening since we built everything in the last year for that to happen.

At this point, we are both crying and a very, very mess.

He pulls me up, saying we both made mistakes, then kisses me. I, of course, kiss back quickly, opening our mouths and our tongs meeting, exploring each other mouths like it was the first time.

My hands can't help but go to his cheeks and hold his face like he is glass while his hands go up my shirt, feeling my skin.

After several moments, we push and turn each other around, then fall on the bed with me on top, hungry for my Win but remembering there's a piece missing.

When I am hard, we make out some more and start grinding against his leg. Win starts humping back on my body.

I stop us momentarily, saying we need to slow down and get our boyfriend back.

Win then says he hasn't agreed to be our boyfriend, though, and how can we get him back?

I say let us go to his place. I am the one that needs to beg forgiveness, and all three of us need to talk more clearly.