Tales from Hyrule: The Fisherman's Anecdotes

The Ice Rod

"And we sailed away in the roughest of waters" I sang as I was rolling up a rope. "Row me, bully boys, row" the boys replied in chants.
"But now we're returnin' so lock up yer daughters" I continued.

"Noo where the fuck is ma knife?" Bowie asked while looking among the crates and loose stuff on deck.

"I dinna ken, ask JimJams over there." Kal said with a shrug.

The shanty stopped.
... And so did my hands as I slowly turned my head towards him, asking "oh really?!" with my face without uttering a word.

My little brother Kal had made it a sport to call me by every nickname he could possibly come up with. "Is it so hard to just say Jiam?" I eventually said, rolling my eyes as I tossed my sheathed knife to Bowie to lend him since he had lost his own for the 14th or so time.

"Cheers, pal!" Bowie said while catching the knife. As he began using it, he started telling us about how he fought a Wizzrobe the other day.

"Got a wee bit ae frostbite, but I got it doon easily! And I kept his ice rod. It freezes anything, ken." He bragged.

"Maybe ye got so buzzin aboot the rod ye dropped yer knife" Kal teased.

"A knife for an ice rod, ha" I added in.

"A willnae drop ma next one!" He replied optimistically. Like we never heard that before.

My father's hoarse voice made itself heard. "Noo will ya lads gie the playin a bye and help haulin the net?"

"Aye, da" me and Kal replied in one voice.

The net was so heavy it felt like the boat was going to overturn any second. "Haul, lads!" my father yelled, and we pulled with all our might.

"Should've had a damn winch fir this one!" Kal said "have we caught a whole whale or what?!"

"Talk less and pull more, lazy bawbag!" I said the second before we got the overloaded net up onboard. Everyone's eyes were sparkling with joy at the sight. There was so much fish we could feed the whole town.

—

"One thousand rupees fir the whole hing?!" My father questioned. "A man's got to pay taxes, and I huv two boys tae feed!"

"Then simply feed them fish." the merchant said. "And shouldn't they be married at this point and provide for themselves anyway?"

"Dinnae play games wae me, thae lads work harder than ye huv yer whole life!" My father was losing his temper. "If yer fancy business is goin' so well ya shouldnae huvtae scam the people ae yer own town!"

The merchant laughed sarcastically. "Oh, Aelan. If you want to get rich off of selling fish, why don't you go to the desert and sell it to the Gerudo?"

A couple of other middle class people laughed with him, as the farmers and millers started murmuring around us. My father growled. Everyone knew that the fish wouldn't even make it halfway through Necluda before it would start to rot and we didn't have ice enough to last. All this good catch for nothing? That was a question we all had.

Suddenly Kal turned to Bowie. His face had a certain look once the Gerudo had been mentioned, and it looked like he just got another incentive to go see them.

"It can freeze anything, ye say?" Kal asked Bowie.

"Yup, anything! And it's cauld when ye get near it!" Bowie replied with his last brain cell, looking like he was clueless of what kind of idea Kal had and just got another opportunity to boast about the rod. "Being aroon it feels like Hebra! A swear tae Hylia!" Said the boy who had never set his foot anywhere near the snowy region of Hebra.

"Yer genius, Bowie!" Kal dunked him on his big shoulder before turning to the rest of us. "Boys, how dinna we dae as Mr. Fancypants say and go sell this muckle catch tae the bonnie lassies ae the Gerudo Desert?"

We all looked at each other. For once, an idea of Kal that actually wasn't that stupid. Although, knowing my brother, he had more reasons for wanting to go to the Gerudo region than just selling fish.